Ramblings of a crazy Jesus girl

Today my parents will be coming in from Iowa. We have been looking forward to this weekend for a long time! This weekend we continue to celebrate the big 40th birthday. And 100 of our close personal friends will be celebrating with us. -In true red neck style, I might add. Because Dave wouldn't allow me to throw him a "pinterest" party.

Twinkly white lights? Burlap banner? Hand made coordinating deserts? Chalk board menus and signs?  Photo booth? None of that is happening. Because it isn't my party. *wink* And he rattled off something about not wanting me to freak out and work too hard, that I am already doing so much every single day, and he just wants me to open up containers of store bought basic foods, and stick a spoon in them. *gasp/twitch*

Okay. I can do this.

It's a bring your own lawn chair/eat sandwiches off from paper plates/sit around a bonfire with your kiddos/shoot off fireworks at dark kind of a party. It's a Dave party. For Dave.
Kind of makes sense, eh? 

We are also rolling the graduation and completion of bachelors degree into this weekends festivities. In about a month and a half Dave will walk and receive his diploma. I know I've said it before, but can I just say again that I am so very proud of him?
Thanks. You're right. It is my blog. Repetition can happen here.

We have much to celebrate. We are so thankful. We are at that point where we can look back and sigh in relief.

We are also looking forward in anticipation. It's good. It's real good.
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Last Thursday through Saturday I went to a True Woman conference. It was intense. There was so much wisdom shared in those three days. It was a really building time for me.

Building confidence and faith.

Building desire for Christ, and an urgency for more of Him in my life.

Building affirmation that we are right where we are supposed to be right now.

Building a hunger and thirst for the life giving truth in the living Word of God.

I could certainly write page upon page about my time in Indianapolis, at the True Women conference, but honestly I am still processing so much and can't yet articulate most of the swirlings in my head and heart. It will probably be coming out onto the blog in little nuggets here and there.

I will say, that if you ever get an opportunity to attend one of these conferences, please go! I think right now they are only happening every two years, but look ahead to 2014. So much solid biblical truth!
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K seems to be struggling a bit with 3rd grade. We have been pleasantly surprised in the past, with his ability to be mainstreamed in a classroom and to be able to keep up with his class mates. This year we aren't sure. We need wisdom. It is still very early in the school year, but he is getting fatigued very easily and the work seems to be a real stretch for him.

I know God is sovereign. I know that His ways are better than ours. He sees truth and eternity and knows us better than we know ourselves.  So I don't tell Him what to do too often. :)  Just when I feel really strongly about things, y'know?

So, one of the few things that I have let God know I would not do, because I am simply not qualified, is to home school K. I want him to learn, and grow and to be taught by teachers who have studied all the ways to reach special needs students, such as K……..

Do you see where this is going? Can you see my sheepish smirk, and do you catch all the ways that I know I can never, ever tell God what to do?

I'm not saying that God has told me I need to home school K, but what I am saying is that I am letting go of that box of "things I will not surrender to God".  It's.not.worth.it.

The thought I am toying with is that K may need to cut back to some half days again, like what we were doing in 1st grade. We may need to do some kind of a coordinated effort of main stream public school and home schooling. That would require quite a revamped schedule for this busy lady, but if it needs to be done, if I am being called to it, if it would help my child to learn - God will make it happen.

 And He will make me as qualified as I need to be. Because He does that. I have seen it.  
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This next statement will only make sense to you if you know the basics of the workings of how a camera responds to light. So get ready for it. :)

If I were a camera, and the Holy Spirit was the LIGHT (hmmm…. I may be on to something here), I feel as if my Holy Spirit ISO has just been cranked way up. If it was set at a reasonable 200 6 months ago, the dial has been turned and we are looking at a good 1000, at the least.

ISO, being the camera's sensitivity to light, seems like the most logical way to explain it.

Yes, I am embracing more and more of a "crazy Jesus girl" reputation. *grin* I'll take it.

I feel The Holy Spirit moving, I see his hand, I hear his prompting, my heartbeat is quickened by his presence.

It's not just an "emotional experience" for me. It's my life. My life is an offering of worship to the one who made me.

Some days are ugly. We have moments that are just hard. Not glamorous, the farthest thing from a "spiritual high", heart sinking moments, and heaviness.

But the life giving, joy inducing truth that is surging through this home, this family, our lives, is that in the midst of the very trials I speak of, there is the unmistakable presence of God and He is leading us into deeper waters. Deep waters of faith, surrender, trust, a big love that He is wrapping around us like a warm blanket, and an excitement that gives us goosebumps.

When I was at the conference last week one of the speakers used a term that made me smile. His statement explained quite well where Dave and I and our four boys find ourselves these days. He said, "… and then God came along and high jacked our family…" Yep. I'm all Carrie Underwood and "Jesus take the Wheel!"
{Just without the long blond hair and big brown eyes. And maybe a few other things. But still…. those are my sentiments}

Wednesday afternoon brain dump

First things first: I am learning to live  life, where many of my waking hours are spent in a mini van, with a faulty gas gauge. You are welcome. I know everyone was greatly concerned about that. So far so good. Watching numbers is becoming very important. Which means I am more aware of how many miles I travel, and suffice it to say, it's a lot.

My camera is making a reappearance. not like I ever actually put it away for very long, but the cold months made it impossible to continue photographing at the rate that I had been in the fall. Oh how I have missed it! Last summer Dave bought me a new camera and it is a gem! It's a Nikon 5100. The sensor in this thing is far superior than that of my D60, and the low light capabilities are amazing!  The feel of it, the sound of it, and the results from it make my heart smile. Some say I have an addiction. To that I say, "well, it could be worse, no?" *grin*

I am in the midst of editing my latest photo session, with a marine daddy+mama and 2 cuties - and I am finding it quite difficult to pull myself away from the Mac... Check it out here.

A couple of nights ago I scored an espresso maker at a thrift store for $4. It isn't anything fancy, but it cleaned up beautifully and Dave and I had so much fun playing with it last night. Of course, it was 6:00pm when we started experimenting with drinks, and I tend to get very wired from caffeine, so it made for an interesting night, but SO worth it. 

I love my husband so much. See, we have this crazy life. It is so loud and busy and really doesn't slow down for anything. Sometimes we have to nearly shout to be heard above the chaos, and yet - we know that this is what we dreamed about someday having. We can laugh at how dead tired we are and how sometimes things just feel out of control and constant. We can make espresso after supper and ignore the feeling of dirt under our feet while we tease each other out of earshot of our boys. It's just nice. 

Guess who's really growing up? Yeah, all of them, but check out my Jay.

So big. 

We are moving forward towards what looks like big changes for our family. We have been working out more details of a full time possible ministry position for Dave. It's exciting, and freeing, and scary, and good all at once. Mostly it just continues to reinforce the truth in our hearts: when God says go, you go. And right now that is enough.

I had a conference at Noe's preschool yesterday. It was good. He's a good boy. He goes to kindergarten round up next Tuesday. *gulp*. I need to devote a post to this kid sometime soon. He is developing this crisp, black and white sense of right and wrong that is very good, and yet I can see problematic potential in it as well. All of our boys are so unique - and watching them develop their own minds and gifts is such a pleasure!

I need an intervention in my life as it pertains to the color yellow. It's over the top you guys. I can't get enough. It's all I want to wear. At least I am a second hand and clearance rack shopper... but really, I have yellow striped t-shirts, yellow heels (swoon), yellow flats, a yellow and brown lunch tote, a 40's style yellow double breasted jacket. Yellow is so sunshine-y and pretty. And I really don't want to stop.

Hello yellow, gray, and blue blog. 

I'm learning some important things about relationships. And they are very, very hard things for me to process. I am a highly relational person. I get tightly attached to people. History means the world to me. Realizing that the past can not erase the present is hard. Letting go is hard. learning to care from a distance and have boundaries is counterintuitive to me. But, as most of you probably know, it is a very wise concept to master. 

Okay, that is all I have time for right now. My to do list right now is truly mocking me. Enjoy the sunshine! Go wear yellow. You know you want to.