Friday, September 28, 2012

 Ramblings of a crazy Jesus girl

Today my parents will be coming in from Iowa. We have been looking forward to this weekend for a long time! This weekend we continue to celebrate the big 40th birthday. And 100 of our close personal friends will be celebrating with us. -In true red neck style, I might add. Because Dave wouldn't allow me to throw him a "pinterest" party.

Twinkly white lights? Burlap banner? Hand made coordinating deserts? Chalk board menus and signs?  Photo booth? None of that is happening. Because it isn't my party. *wink* And he rattled off something about not wanting me to freak out and work too hard, that I am already doing so much every single day, and he just wants me to open up containers of store bought basic foods, and stick a spoon in them. *gasp/twitch*

Okay. I can do this.

It's a bring your own lawn chair/eat sandwiches off from paper plates/sit around a bonfire with your kiddos/shoot off fireworks at dark kind of a party. It's a Dave party. For Dave.
Kind of makes sense, eh? 

We are also rolling the graduation and completion of bachelors degree into this weekends festivities. In about a month and a half Dave will walk and receive his diploma. I know I've said it before, but can I just say again that I am so very proud of him?
Thanks. You're right. It is my blog. Repetition can happen here.

We have much to celebrate. We are so thankful. We are at that point where we can look back and sigh in relief.

We are also looking forward in anticipation. It's good. It's real good.

Last Thursday through Saturday I went to a True Woman conference. It was intense. There was so much wisdom shared in those three days. It was a really building time for me.

Building confidence and faith.

Building desire for Christ, and an urgency for more of Him in my life.

Building affirmation that we are right where we are supposed to be right now.

Building a hunger and thirst for the life giving truth in the living Word of God.

I could certainly write page upon page about my time in Indianapolis, at the True Women conference, but honestly I am still processing so much and can't yet articulate most of the swirlings in my head and heart. It will probably be coming out onto the blog in little nuggets here and there.

I will say, that if you ever get an opportunity to attend one of these conferences, please go! I think right now they are only happening every two years, but look ahead to 2014. So much solid biblical truth!

K seems to be struggling a bit with 3rd grade. We have been pleasantly surprised in the past, with his ability to be mainstreamed in a classroom and to be able to keep up with his class mates. This year we aren't sure. We need wisdom. It is still very early in the school year, but he is getting fatigued very easily and the work seems to be a real stretch for him.

I know God is sovereign. I know that His ways are better than ours. He sees truth and eternity and knows us better than we know ourselves.  So I don't tell Him what to do too often. :)  Just when I feel really strongly about things, y'know?

So, one of the few things that I have let God know I would not do, because I am simply not qualified, is to home school K. I want him to learn, and grow and to be taught by teachers who have studied all the ways to reach special needs students, such as K……..

Do you see where this is going? Can you see my sheepish smirk, and do you catch all the ways that I know I can never, ever tell God what to do?

I'm not saying that God has told me I need to home school K, but what I am saying is that I am letting go of that box of "things I will not surrender to God".  It'

The thought I am toying with is that K may need to cut back to some half days again, like what we were doing in 1st grade. We may need to do some kind of a coordinated effort of main stream public school and home schooling. That would require quite a revamped schedule for this busy lady, but if it needs to be done, if I am being called to it, if it would help my child to learn - God will make it happen.

 And He will make me as qualified as I need to be. Because He does that. I have seen it.  

This next statement will only make sense to you if you know the basics of the workings of how a camera responds to light. So get ready for it. :)

If I were a camera, and the Holy Spirit was the LIGHT (hmmm…. I may be on to something here), I feel as if my Holy Spirit ISO has just been cranked way up. If it was set at a reasonable 200 6 months ago, the dial has been turned and we are looking at a good 1000, at the least.

ISO, being the camera's sensitivity to light, seems like the most logical way to explain it.

Yes, I am embracing more and more of a "crazy Jesus girl" reputation. *grin* I'll take it.

I feel The Holy Spirit moving, I see his hand, I hear his prompting, my heartbeat is quickened by his presence.

It's not just an "emotional experience" for me. It's my life. My life is an offering of worship to the one who made me.

Some days are ugly. We have moments that are just hard. Not glamorous, the farthest thing from a "spiritual high", heart sinking moments, and heaviness.

But the life giving, joy inducing truth that is surging through this home, this family, our lives, is that in the midst of the very trials I speak of, there is the unmistakable presence of God and He is leading us into deeper waters. Deep waters of faith, surrender, trust, a big love that He is wrapping around us like a warm blanket, and an excitement that gives us goosebumps.

When I was at the conference last week one of the speakers used a term that made me smile. His statement explained quite well where Dave and I and our four boys find ourselves these days. He said, "… and then God came along and high jacked our family…" Yep. I'm all Carrie Underwood and "Jesus take the Wheel!"
{Just without the long blond hair and big brown eyes. And maybe a few other things. But still…. those are my sentiments}


Christy said...

Oh so much to touch on I don't know where to start. Well, since it is your blog I will first say Happy big 40 to your husband and I hope your red neck party rocks! I hear ya on the whole pinterest party though. So, so, SO tempting. I mean it is his party but sheesh can't a girl have dreams of twinkly lights and meatballs on toothpicks? Ha! Second, I told God I would not adopt, that I WOULD get pregnant. That if I adopted I would NOT go beyond CA to do it and oh I WOULD NEVER home school. uh guessed, no baby to term, adopted to little girls and one was not local. Also, we pulled them from school and started home schooling. Sigh.......ya' that's what I said. Good thing God knows whats best for me even before I do. Regardless of what you decide you will do whats best for your kiddo and not you cause thats what a good mama does and your just that kind of mama. ;)

Anonymous said...

Read this the other day and thought of you:
"Come to the edge" he said.
"We are afraid" they said.
"Come to the edge" he said.
"We might fall" they said.
"Come to the edge" he said.
So they came.
And he pushed them.

And they flew.

Guillaume Appollinare