Maybe I could find a "pause" button some where....

I'm here

and I'm busy

and I'm learning that

life

just

won't

slow

down.

We had a wonderful time in Iowa with my family! Every day was full of visiting, laughing, hugging, and eating (always have to have that ). Days were busy nights were late and little boys realized a little bit more how loved they are near and far.
(For a little peak into our days in Iowa you can check out my photo a day blog. Oh - and if you read a favorite
blog of mine, "Life in the Parsonage", you may be interested in the kindness I showed to the author of that blog, photo documented here.)

So then we got home and I thought I would get right back into the blogging thing.

But that didn't exactly happen. Because life never slowed down enough. I finally got some opportunities, but puzzled over where to start...

I could have told you about all of the wonderful times we had with family, or the ten hour trip home - but that could be a bit tedious to non family members.

I could've started with telling you that an hour after we finally stepped foot into our wonderful home sweet home Dave left again to take K an hour east of us to the ER. Then I would have to tell you about him scaring us a bit with shaking, paleness, and a racing heart rate during the very last couple of hours on our trip home. Since he was perfectly fine by the time Dave had him signed in at the front desk of the ER - I figured I didn't need to spend too much time going into all of that (and yes mom he really is completely okay!).

I could tell about how crazy the following day was since Dave and K didn't get back home until 4am and I couldn't sleep while they were away. -About how the suitcases from our trip laid on the kitchen floor untouched for a couple of days. -How I tried to get back into our "normal" routine and it took much longer than I had anticipated due to sleep deprivation.

But really - that's all done and over now so why dwell on it?

Perhaps a good blog post to get me back into a blogging routine should be about my crazy day Friday when I had to take K, once again, to the hospital an hour east of us - this time for a routine neurosurgeon appointment. -How awesome it was to hear that his shunt is working beautifully and that we don't have to return to see the neurosurgeon for a whole year! Upon hearing that good news and making it out of the maze that they called a "parking garage under construction", we returned home for a couple of hours. The afternoon was filled with check ups for Jay and Noe and then family time at a near by hot air balloon festival where we got rained on and never saw any hot air balloons due to weather.

{Deep breath}

That night I finally had a great opportunity for a full good night of sleep. You get one guess as to whether or not that happened...

This baby had a thing or two against his momma getting in one good night of sleep I guess. Perhaps he wants me to be well into the practice of interrupted sleep so I will be ready for the long nights of feeding that await...He is already proving to be a little bit of an ornery child. I was up with contractions from 4am till 7am. I was kind of annoyed, kind of anxious, and still really tired. They finally stopped and I dug out the prescription my doctor had written me out a couple of weeks ago to calm things down in case contractions started up. Fortunately things have calmed down quite a bit (yes mom, I really am okay).

The calendar is still quite full until the first weekend in August. After that it is empty. Dave and I have promised each other to KEEP IT THAT WAY until the baby is born. Well, it will not be empty but we will stick around here and try to keep things very low key.

As I type this Dave is preparing for his much anticipated 5-days-in-the-wilderness-you-don't know-primitive-till-you-have-done-this "vacation" with 7 other guys from church. While the boys were being particularly out of control, utterly and completely naughty challenging one afternoon this week I thought for a split second that 5 days in the wilderness sounded sort of nice. Then I remembered the shovel Dave had just purchased. The one he had explained to me as being useful for some particular necessities involving relieving ones self. Yeah, that shovel. That's when I decided that five days of acting as a "single mom" to three very active boys while being 6 months pregnant with another would be quite do-able. Yes indeed.

But I am still dreading the morning he leaves...

So, I couldn't figure out what all to blog about, but I suppose this will do for now dontcha' think?

{25 weeks}

It's just another weekly milestone in this pregnancy...

Or is it?

25 weeks today...

We know what 25 weeks looks like

We know what it feels like to hold 25 weeks in the palm of our hand

We know the intricately formed features of 25 weeks

And we rejoice that this time this baby boy is safe

protected

right where he is supposed to be

at 25 weeks.

Baby J.D. the day he was born, 1-2-03, at 25 weeks gestation.

I love these every day miracles...

Leaving you with this...

Very excitedly crossing things off my list, packing, and preparing for a vacation to see my family.

Leaving tomorrow.

Looking forward to Dave's brother's 40th birthday party, followed by my family reunion, and then some down time with my mom and dad.

Things are busy around here!

Three overly excited little boys have the energy level high - making it a bit of a challenge to get every thing done.

I'll be away for about a week.

But just had to leave you with this cuteness!
(Click on the picture to see the mud close up)


Many thanks to our wonderful photographer, Pastor Cumings, for capturing the essence of boyhood. :) There are alot more pictures where this one came from and I will share them soon (actually you can click here to see a the family picture I posted on my photo blog).

Signing off for now~

Will not let go of the vision...

If any of you have ever lived in a house while you were doing major remodeling or in the midst of building - kudos to you! You will understand how important it is to hang on to the vision of the finished product in the midst of the messy work.

The dust

The long hours

The temporary house rearrangement that must go on while one or more rooms are being tore into

The noise

Like alot of things in life, big projects like this tend to get much messier before they begin to take shape. There is alot of "behind the scenes" stuff that has to go on before you see the beauty that you are working toward. Plumbing, electrical, framing, etc...

And it is so important for one like me to hold on to the vision.

We started remodeling our bedroom a few weeks ago. Dave grabs any little window of time that he can to work on it. That is a challenge in amongst a busy life.

We knew what we were working toward in the beginning and I have to continually go back and remember our plans and then think ahead to when this will be an extremely relaxing little haven for us.

But let's just say that is not an easy thing when you see this...
Our house is over 70 years old. We have slowly been going from room to room - remodeling little by little. As the need arose for a nursery, upstairs bathroom, and new roof, I some times wondered if our room would ever be next on the list...

It was certainly livable. And if you like a dirty lavender color, plaster patches and the worlds smallest closet, then it was a perfectly suitable room. Nothing major was wrong with it until the roof project we tackled last year left a large crack in our ceiling.

And then the project commenced.

I spent a few days packing every thing and moving it out (with lots of help from little boys who got incredible enjoyment out of unpacking the totes I was packing up...).
And then the demolition began.

Oh dirty lavender walls, plaster patches, and large ceiling crack that was beginning to show bright shiny stars from above -I will not miss you.

We said good bye to the old as our room basically got thrown into a trailer out our window:We have a long way to go. There's much work to be done - but I have vision!! And you better believe I am holding on to every bit of that vision as I see the distribution of copious amounts of saw dust all over every other part of our house. As I live out of rubber maid totes in the small room that used to be Noe's. As I patiently wait...

Friends - meet my vision:

It's going to be warm and inviting, and above all, very relaxing.

The corner jacuzzi tub and the pedestal sink have been bought. They are in our garage awaiting the time of installation - and reminding us that this will indeed some day all come together. :) The faucets, tile, and carpet have been chosen, paint scheme is in place, Walls to my new walk in closet are framed up and the frame for the tub is just about finished...

We are getting there...

And I have a couple of the cutest construction guys ever working on it all. :) All of this is being done by Dave and Jay.

Not.letting.go.of.the.vision.

{FOUR of them!}

FOUR boys.

It's still sinking in.

I'm still in awe of it all.


I was the girl who never missed a chance to dress up.

Could never wear enough frills.

Loved all things pretty and pink and girlie.

From a very young age.


And I thought my future would involve passing on my love of all of that

to a little girl.


And instead my daily life revolves around 3 little boys running around me.

One boy in heaven - who has claimed a special place in my heart.

One little boy nestled inside.

And another boy who loves me like no other.



Crazy -this thing called life.

When the things we think we want become far away

and the things we have been given become close to our hearts.


FOUR of them.

to raise

and kiss

and cuddle


...and get exasperated with

and ask forgiveness from.


Dirt

and energy

and competing


Trucks

and airplanes

and rocket ships


Big eyes

questioning

loving

and bringing a sweetness into my life that I could not have imagined.


I always thought that moms with a house full of boys had to be tough

and encompass a strength I didn't posses.

But I started hearing comments that I am just the lady

to be the mom of FOUR boys.

And I wondered - ? Me?


And I began to realize that this house full of testosterone

needs a softness

needs a loving touch

needs a bit of all things girl

needs emotions of the female persuasion.


Yes, it does make sense.

Me - the mom to FOUR boys.

Who knew that a heart could contain so much love?

A peek into our wedding album

March 24, 2001

I'll never ever forget that day.

We had planned it just how we wanted it

and it was truly beautiful.

I was the bride who wanted to be a princess.

Layers of tulle, pearls, and lace.

Periwinkle and silver sparkled all around us.

Our friends and family surrounded us with support and encouragement.

The beginning of a journey that would continually draw us closer to God.

Anticipation, love, and such gratefulness punctuated the day.

Thanks to Rachel @In His Hands for hosting the wedding album photo carnival today. I love looking at wedding pictures!

Sitting with him

It's probably not a big surprise to any of you that I'm a busy lady. Keeping up with the needs of three little guys, remodeling our home, a pregnancy involving weekly appointments, physical and occupational therapy appointments for K, and just day to day life some times proves to be difficult.

There is a certain feeling of being behind that tends to follow me around. It is not an invited or welcomed feeling and yet, rather comfortable in familiarity.

Sometimes I realize that I need to slow down. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I forge full speed ahead only to become quite useless to my family hours later when I collapse on the couch in an exhausted, grumpy weary, and defeated state.

Ah - but then there are those moments when I allow God to catch my attention and re focus my mind on all things beautiful and important.

One of those moments involved me frantically throwing toys back into the toy room while trying to finish up paying bills, while one load of laundry was being washed and one load was being dried. The younger boys were napping, and K was... well he was some where. Probably playing his "My first Computer" or picking out a DVD for his rest time.

Then his little voice broke through the mental grocery list I was in process of creating. "Mom, can you sit with me?" I looked up and saw him on the couch pulling a soft blanket around his legs. He looked awfully cute. I smiled, but my lips began to form the familiar reply of "In a minute."

Sit with him? Just sit? I don't know how to just sit. Especially when there is dirt on my kitchen floor and clothes to be sorted. Sitting would be almost impossible.

And necessary.

And helpful to two people on so many levels.

I stopped the words from coming out of my mouth and mentally shut out the work waiting for me.

"Yeah baby, I'll sit with you". I cradled my 6 1/2 year old in my lap and watched his face transform into smiles. And surprise surprise! I didn't immediately melt from sitting on the couch while work needed to be done. No alarms sounded.

K is so quiet and usually very laid back. He entertains himself so easily. His brothers tend to be higher maintenance. As I caressed his brown hair and looked into his hazel eyes I made a realization that spending time with him - just being together - hadn't been real high on my priority list. Because he seems so happy to do his own thing, I sometimes allow the importance of seeking him out and bonding with him to slip. He's not the kind of guy to complain much, but he feels so much inside.

"Hey bud, how are you doing?" I quietly asked. "GOOD!" He replied enthusiastically. He buried his head in the blanket. "Mom! Where's K? Did you leave him outside?!" He screeched out his laughter as he initiated one of our favorite games.

"Oh no! He's still in the sand box, or maybe I left him in his swing and he can't get out!" I played along smiling, knowing what his next move would be.

POP!

Out of the blanket came a sweet little boy who could hardly contain his excitement. He was laughing so hard he could barely talk. "Here I am mom! I was right here!"

We played a few more rounds or "Where in the world could K be?!" and then we just talked. Little things, maybe insignificant to some, but I was beginning to realize that these moments, little games, and conversations were really of utmost importance.

What did you learn about in Sunday school on Sunday?

Jesus. And snacks.

Are you excited about kindergarten this fall?

Yay-ah!! When do I get to go?!

Do you want an ice cream bar? Mommy wants one; do you want me to get you one too?

Mom, do they have sticks in the middle?

Um, no.

Then they aren't ice cream bars mom! They are called ice cream sandwiches!

Thank you K. I keep calling them the wrong thing don't I?

You are silly mom!


Eventually I got back to the million and one things that needed to be done, but I had the satisfaction of knowing that one of the most important things had been pursued. And there was a certain peace in my heart that had previously not been there.

This post is part o f Tuesdays unwrapped @ Chatting at the Sky. Click on the link to check out the beautiful and every day moments that others are choosing to embrace.