What can stand against?

Noe - he's my talker, and my thinker, and my sensitive heart.

He rarely stops speaking. It's usually when he is asleep, and only sometimes when he is eating (we are working on that one).

Alot of the time the talk is typical 5 year old silliness and play. But with him, with this little man in ownership of the wide eyes and endless words, I will quite often be floored by some of his matter-of-fact profundities (hmm... that really is a word. I typed it, laughed at myself, and then looked it up - as I was shocked not to see the ever familiar red squiggly line. Okay. Profundities. I like it).

There was the night we were in the van, on our way to awana, and he began to chatter. I sheepishly admit, that since it is going constantly, sometimes I tune it out. But a few words here and there began to tickle my ears, so I made sure to put my full attention on him.

"Sometimes on the Pink Panther cartoon there is a debil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.
Yeah. He has to listen to one and sometimes he doesn't know what to do.
Sometimes we skip the ones with the debil in 'em.
Yep.
But we really don't need to be afraid of the debil. Right?
I mean sometimes he makes me get up at nap time when I am spose t'be restin', but God helps me go back up there."

*commence deep breath to be able to accommodate another string of phrases*

"What's that song we sing at church mom? The one that says...

 *commence sing-songy cute-as-ever off pitch voice*

"And if our God is with us


Than who could ever stop us?


And if our God is for us


What could stand against?


What could stand against?

That's true, huh mom?! So, like God is stronger. The debil can try to get us to do bad things, but won't win!"



Oh man...did I need that little voice to penetrate my mind/thoughts/heart.

God knows. He uses my kids in infinite ways to show me (over and over and over) truth.


This little exchange between Noe and I (well... Noe's exchange of words and my ears listening...*wink*), it was so timely.

See, some of the things I have been eluding too lately pertain to God's call to obedience in Dave and I's life. For the past several months we have felt his leading towards ministry, but we weren't 100% sure what that really looked like. We are involved in several ministries. We have been seeking him, and even wrestling with him in some ways. It's becoming pretty clear that this calling is to full time ministry. Some big changes are going to be taking place in our lives. Although details are many and somewhat unclear, we are camped on this right now: we desire more than anything else to be within the will of God. We have learned that when he says "go" we go.

Here's the deal, along with these decisions and significant life changes, comes attack. You know, from the debil. 


Noe's reminder to me, that God is stronger and the debil won't win, was so right on and timely -as we seem to have painted some what of a target on our backs.

Boy do I love these little messengers of truth in my life. :) What a lucky lady I am.

Cool little God-fact that I must insert here. Literally 2 minutes after Noe sang that song, it came on the radio. I looked in my rear view mirror at him and his eyes were HUGE. It was pretty cool.

{The Heart of Worship}

I can't even begin to tell all that God is doing,

changing,

motivating,

moving,

molding,

romancing,

in my heart.


Some of it is small -

a little dusting off here,

a bit of sanding away there...


Some of it... oh my. Really big.


Right now I am in that processing phase;

This place where I just need to treasure-it-in-my-heart .

I have to mull over it all before I even begin to offer it up in a public venue, such as this.


But all that really matters? Right now I am finding myself at the feet of Jesus.

Over and over and over.

I am getting more acquainted with his heart. - And funny thing. It just makes me want more of Him.

I want to exchange milk for meat.

I want to deepen,

mature,

grasp for more.


grow up in grace and become all that I was meant to be.


He has put books in my hands that have been playing a part in the refining process.

The pile seems to be growing...

 and growing...

 and growing... :)

Every word I am reading is leading me in this direction of a reckless pursuit of God,

a tearing away of self.


To say it is exciting would be an understatement!

To say there isn't pain in the process would be a big.fat.lie.

Oh, but I know that God is going to use even the pain in amazing ways!


My mornings have been precious times. Some mornings are rushed and full of responsibilities,  and then I have needed to make some time in my evenings.


Speaking to my heart,

 fueling my passion,

highlighting my worship has been this soundtrack (Clicking on titles will take you to the you tube video. My comments in red):

Deep in Love with you
(lyrics are written by Michael W. Smith, Debbie Smith, Christa Black)

Sitting at Your feet is where I want to be
I'm home when I am here with You

Ruined by Your grace, enamored by Your gaze
I can't resist the tenderness in You

(I love that part!)

I'm deep in love with You, Abba Father
I'm deep in love with You, Lord
My heart, it beats for You, precious Jesus
I'm deep in love with You, Lord

Humbled and amazed that You would call my name
I never have to search again
There's a deep desire that's burning like a fire
To know You as my closest friend

Lord, my Redeemer, Your blood runs through my veins
My love for You is deeper than it was yesterday
I enter through the curtain, parted by Your grace
Oh, You're the lover of my soul
 **********************************************************************************
There is Nothing 
(Laura Story)

Lord I come before You
To honor and adore You
For who You are and all that You have done
Lord I am not worthy

My heart is dark and dirty
Still somehow You bid for me to come
(This part -SO true. 
So unworthy. 
So thankful for grace... I have no words)

[Pre-Chorus:]
So clothe me in humility

Remind me, that I come before a King
(How often we forget.. we are coming before a KING!)

[Chorus:]
And there is nothing
There is nothing
More precious, more worthy

May I gaze deeper
May I stay longer
May I press onward to know You Lord
(The cry of my heart)

[Verse 2:]
May our time be sweeter
May I be a keeper
Of the promises I make to You in song
Lord may I remember these moments of surrender
And live my life this way from this day on

[Pre-Chorus:]
So clothe me in humility
Remind me, that I come before a King

[Chorus:]
And there is nothing
There is nothing
More precious, more worthy
May I gaze deeper
May I stay longer
May I press onward to know You Lord
**********************************************************************************

What Do I Know of Holy
(Addison Road)

I made You promises a thousand times

I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
(Yes, that's me. -Learning to shut up and listen...) :)

I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page

Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees
(Can you relate? I mean, wow.)

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?

Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?
***********************************************************************************

Alive

(Natalie Grant)
Who but You, could breathe and leave a trail of galaxies and dream of me?

What kind of Love is writing my story till the end with Mercy’s pen?
(Is that not beautiful?!)

Only You.

What kind of king would choose to wear a crown that bleeds and scars to win my heart?
What kind of Love tells me I’m the reason He can’t stay inside the grave?
(Beautiful shattering pain...)

You. Is it You? Standing here before my eyes, every part of my heart cries

Alive! Alive! Look what Mercy’s overcome; Death has lost and Love has won
Alive! Alive! Hallelujah, Risen Lord, the only One I fall before
I am His because He is alive.

Who could speak, and send the demons back from where they came with just one Name?

What other heart would let itself be broken every time till He healed mine?
(This hurts, and heals)

You. Only You could turn my darkness into dawn; running right into Your arms

Alive! Alive! Look what Mercy’s overcome; Death has lost and Love has won
Alive! Alive! Hallelujah, Risen Lord, the only One I fall before
I am His because He is alive.

Emmanuel, the promised King the baby who made angels sing
Son of Man who walked with us, healing, breathing in our dust
The author of all history, the answer to all mysteries
The Lamb of God who rolled away, the stone in front of every grave

Alive! Alive! Look what Mercy’s overcome; Death has lost and Love has won
Alive! I am His because He is alive.
Alive!
***********************************************************************************



I could add alot - but I just wanted to share a little bit of my heart tonight.

{Much more to come}

{March}10 on 10

This is what 10 on 10 is about: Take a photo every hour for ten consecutive hours on the tenth of each month. Document a day of your life and find beauty among the ordinary moments. Then share your beauty with us! 


March 10 happened to be a Saturday, and a fairly relaxed Saturday at that, which means that I did not document a very "normal day" for the McCallum family. :) It was more of a "treat day". Very fun to participate in this little photojournalistic exercise!

7:15am

 Morning beverages, and some daddy K time right after waking.

8:15am

Breakfast pizza, our favorite!

9:15am

Packing up for a photo shoot.

10:15am

 In the kitchen of dear friends, taking photos {I'm a happy girl!}.

11:15am

Finishing up the photo session at their church.

12:15am

In my own kitchen, enjoying the new flowers, arranged in antique jars that I found in our basement. -And really, whenever I see all of those hooks I feel so overly blessed. :) 

1:15pm

Laying littles down for rest time.

2:15pm

Playing outside. Raking the driveway. Yes. Snow boots, shorts, knee socks, winter coats. Yes.

3:15pm

Getting some dishes done - but taking a moment to be distracted by 2 year old cuddles and giggles {best thing ever}.

4:15pm

Our ham and bean soup is beginning to smell super delish!

5:15pm

Supper was thoroughly enjoyed by all!

6:15pm

Bath time.

7:15pm

Bed time stories. He has figured out that if he isn't in the mood to wait for mommy to read to him, he can get the Ipad out and have it read to him. ;) Smart boy!

I will drive slower to save on gas money, and other random thoughts

Sometimes  life goes way beyond the speed limit and there is just no way to organize thoughts, happenings, life lessons, photos, and messages.

So - brain dump.


One positive thing that I have done, in light of the recent gas price hike, is to work on my driving - in an effort to bring my average miles per gallon up. Guess what? I brought it up form 19 mph, to 23 mph! I am a geek, but I was totally psyched over that. I may possibly be that annoying person on the road next to you who is putzing along at 25mph, but please know that I am not there to tick you off. I am saving money people! ;) Honestly, if there are cars around me, I drive in an expected and helpful manner, but if I am by myself on a country road, I do bring the mph down. Mostly, I just make sure that when I start accelerating, after being stopped, that I make it even, slow, and easy. I also don't idol at all, unless is it super cold and we need to have the heater running.


I try not to get too caught up in vain beauty; how I look, outward appearances, and spending money on things that tout fountain-of -youth type claims. I roll my eyes at them. So don't roll your eyes at me... but I have recently found a product that I think may be helping me with my "I have 4 kids and sometimes don't get alot of sleep" under eye shadows. I think the dark circles under my eyes are circumstantial and genetic. Not alot of hope for me. But, I have been using this targeted action eye revitalizer for about 2 weeks. And I am seeing some under eye changes. No, no one is paying me to say it, but if they wanted to, I would let them. ;)

K came home from school one day this week with a paper he had written about what love means to him. It melted me. Of course that means it will go up on the blog. ;)

I think this one is a keeper.

I just had a texting conversation with Dave, in which I told him what I was doing. Because we are that couple that you roll your eyes at and say, "Oh, puh-lease. Really? Do you have to tell each other what you had for lunch and everything? And have pet names for each other and get all mushy and huggy and kissy?

-That's us. To the point where when I was going through my "I'm going to increase my miles per gallon at all costs" phase I was texting him every time I raised my mpg average by a tenth of a mile. I know, I know...

So, anyway, I was telling him that I was "blogging", but my auto-correct apparently wanted me to be here at home "clogging" while my boys napped. Hmmm. Could be fun.

And now Kai is up from his nap and just brought me a juice box. Sweet kid. Maybe he will want to clog with me.

A lady from our church read a long-ago blog entry where I talked about how God got us through some rough patches with K, and how He continually reminded me to just breathe. Over and over in that blog entry I had written, breathe...just breathe.

What do I find in my mailbox the other day, from this sweet lady, but a vinyl word to go up on my wall: "Breathe". I love it. Alot.

I put it by my lovely, wonderful, I-never-thought-I-would-have-something-this-nice, jacuzzi tub. 

Isn't it great? Makes for the perfect "mommy time out" spot.

I also just got new sheets for our bed. I'm so silly. I knew I needed to get new sheets for awhile, but couldn't bring myself to a) spend the money for a nicer set, or b) convince myself to compromise and not get the nicer set.

My sister in law Sarah ruined me once by getting me a nice set of sheets, with a higher thread count than I had previously owned. You know, because it's certainly not my fault that I can't bring myself to buy cheap sheets...

I finally looked over our budget and moved a few things here and a few things there, and pretended I didn't have to buy gas, and bought this lovely set of sheets. It reminds me of smooth, rich chocolate. 

Yummy.

All of my boys, except for K, got haircuts this week. Pretty short. They were all hippies, with longer hair than I think they had ever had. They all look so different, and of course - in that mysterious way that haircuts accomplish - they all look much older.

I am growing my hair out to donate to Locks of Love. I am excited. And hesitant. I do like my longer hair. It is longer right now than it has been in quite awhile. My stylist told me that to donate to a child, who has lost their hair due to harsh leukemia treatments, I would need 10 inches. I think I have 10 inches now, but it would leave me with a pixie hair style. Super short. I may wait another month or so and do a bob. I haven't decided yet. 

I'm a big JJ Heller fan. You have got to check out this sweet music video that her and her husband made in their dining room.

I'm not sure if I have ever seen anything cuter.

I received my acceptance email this weekend to volunteer my photography skills with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. 

I am excited, and sad, and ready to do this. 

   

Yeah, you might want some tissues handy when you watch that. 

Okay, I have to go now. I have things like this to deal with at the moment.

 

Funny, I didn't even notice the sippy cup of milk until I downloaded the photo. 

Perfect visual of what my life is all about. ;)