Sunday, December 23, 2018

Noe turns 12



Dear Noah Benjamin,

I am so honored to be your mom. Really, I am.  I love your thirst for knowledge, especially biblical knowledge.  All the things I have settled for "well, we may not ever know the answer to that one..." are met with "Why not? I'm going to find out."  By you.

That both humbles and pleases me.  Humbled because I'm the mom and you're the kid . . . I'm supposed to know all the stuff, right?  but I'm pleased that you are more persistent and tenacious than me.  I am pleased by your insatiable quest for knowledge;  how much you love to learn.

This has been quite a year, huh buddy?  High highs and low lows.  Unbridled joy -unexpected lavish blessings, and bitter disappointments.  I have walked through these with you and you have no idea how much my heart bursts and breaks as yours does.  Because you are a part of me and I'll never be able to completely separate myself from you.  The way a mama is entwined with those she gives life to - it is marvelous and excruciating.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I will continue to watch you mature and be able to filter all of these big feelings.  These big feels of yours are processed in you so much like I process as well.  You're kind of my mini. I have already seen a great deal of maturity as you have experienced so much in the last few months.

The loss of hopes and expectations in what you were anticipating for your entrance into the youth group.

Competing once again on a world level for destination Imagination in engineering and shocking everyone by taking 8th place. I know few moments in your young life matched with that one.  Watching those final results live from the back seat in our van.  And I was right there, next to you - feeling every bit as anxious as the seconds counted down...

And then saying goodbye to your time in DI - and oh the emotions.  Your tears tugged at everything inside of me, but I know that I know that your daddy and I need to listen to God for direction for our family, and this was one of those times.  We know So.very.much. lies ahead of you.  Middle school, a brand new school, teachers, friends, building - everything! New opportunities.  You are going to soar in whatever you do.  We have zero doubts of that.

I can not adequately express how much I love you and how much I thank God that he placed you in our family.  That he thought us worthy to parent you. To nurture you, love you, and guide you.  And that we would learn from YOU and be loved by YOU (You do a good job of this).

You so gently were born into my hands.  You were peaceful and cuddly and soft.  And while much has changed from that day 12 years ago, so much is still the same.  Our Noah.  Our sweet boy.   I'm so filled with anticipation to see where God leads as you begin your 13th year!



Love, Mom

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