Monday, November 25, 2013

 A special grace

I know. I know… it's been forever. 

When I process  a l o t  all at once I like to give the blog a break. I know from experience, that at some point on the processing journey, something will click back into place and I will need to write again.

Sometimes it is hard to know where to start when my mind begins to settle and I am ready to get some of my thoughts organized in type.

Just diving in. It's the best thing to do.

I would like to share a few thoughts that are on my heart today, regarding special needs parenting. These thoughts are not coming from a place of "me"…

…needing affirmation

…needing validation

…needing to be heard.

These thoughts are more of a response to a few articles, on special needs parenting, that I have read recently which just left me with a negative feeling. My thoughts also reflect my heart, and my desire to be transparent and authentic.

God knew, from the very beginning, that Dave and I would have a child with special needs. Dave and I did not know this. :) We did not chose it, therefore, we are not "saintly".

Neither are we "strong". And that whole, "oh my - I could never do that. Bless your hearts" thing isn't actually true. If you found yourself on the crazy journey of special needs parenting, you would find a special grace for it, and you would do it.

Some days are put-one-foot-in-front-of-the-other days. Some days it can be lonely. Some days it asks more of me than I want to give. But never more of me - never more of me - than I can give {through Christ who gives me strength}.

Sometimes I cry. There are days that discouragement can set in, and then there are days that an elation beyond my imagination surrounds me .

Sometimes a listening ear is exactly what is needed. There are times that some venting is helpful. It doesn't mean I don't love the job I've been given. I, in-fact, feel privileged to have been hand picked for this parenting journey which does not resemble my expectations.

Somedays you will need to remind me of that.

Sometimes I can not get through to him while he loses his self-control.

Sometimes it feels like a half step forward… and 10 steps back.

Sometimes I am dealing with bodily functions that aren't so fun.

Sometimes these things happen when I am at a friend's house…

…or at church

…or at the store.

And it's okay. I have been given an unbelievable measure of grace from a God who cares, and equips. I will handle the situation, and then I may need a hug. :) Give me space to do what I need to do, and then let me know you care.

Your love and encouragement is huge! So, so appreciated. Parenting a child with medical needs that are of a high maintenance nature can be draining, and encouragement from friends and family can truly make our day.

On the flip side - be cautious with advice. There may be battles on this journey that you think you know about, or have a solution for. Just pause for a minute and think it through before speaking. You may not know all that has gone into the struggle. Sometimes a hug is better. :)

When you love a special needs child for who they are, you become parents' heroes.

Every life is precious. 

Behind every special needs parent, is a life created by God, loved dearly, and created with a purpose.


Rachel said...

I was thinking this morning about how he got up from his game last night and WALKED over to give me a hug. My eyes welled up with tears, as I realized all doctors he has proved wrong. I know your days are hard sometimes, but please know that we love you and him!

Andrea said...

He is just amazing Wendy!

You have written with such grace and truth, I was nodding my head the whole way through ;) I dearly love all the special needs children I have had the privilege of working with, and to hear this parent's perspective coming straight from your heart is just. so. good. Thank you for sharing it :)

Jackie@Our Moments, Our Memories said...

Oh Wendi. I love everything about this so much. I started to copy the bits that really struck me so I could paste them here in the comments and tell you how much I loved them...then I realized I would have to copy and and paste the whole entire thing. (And yes, it's midnight here and that's why the preceding paragraph made very little sense). :) Love you, friend.