Friday, December 6, 2013

 Breathing it in

It's busy and we keep moving

- busting here and there.

Rushing and bowling over every "good intention" that we have.

Sometimes we have to just stop.


I heard a simple phrase last year that comes back to me over and over again, especially when I am stressed: 

"Breathe in grace, breathe out grace."

So I stop, close my eyes, click my mind offand I try it.

On the inhale  -

I imagine God himself smiling. And pouring this great big bucketful of grace into me; this earthen vessel so desperate to receive it. Things are pouring out of that bucket like

"I'm singing over you."

"I am equipping you, and have already equipped you."

"I love you, yes despite that. And that. And that too."

- And -

"Oh, do I have plans for you!"

"I had great things in mind for you before you were even born!"

"You don't have to do any of it on your own!"

"I will never leave you, not for a second."

So, in this count of three, I am breathing all of that it.

And it calms me.

Wow, I'm calm finally. And that feels good.

On the exhale, I turn.

Away from me.

Away from pity.

Away from frustration.

Because suddenly my eyes are open to things that previously were hidden in the busting and rushing and bowling.

I see needs, and they aren't my own.

I see faces. No, not just faces - I see eyes. 

Eyes that are tired or searching. Eyes brimming with unbidden tears. Just hanging on. Some eyes twinkling with hope.

And I think about people who have this gift. The gift of easily breathing in and out with grace in each second. It's not an effort, it's who they are.

We are all human and we all hit walls. I know that. But what a sweet thing to be able to see the people who radiate the grace, because they live it.

I could list so many right here. Those who have chosen time and again to walk in the Spirit, even when it made zero sense to their human minds. They have done it so much that with practice, it becomes

like breathing.

Is it tough? Oh yes. There are tears and exhaustion, and All of The Stuff.

But an underlying knowing that this is the life. The life you are called to is the best life there is.

For example, does it make sense to open your home, {your oasis, your private moments, your place to "get away from it all"} to children who will intrude upon all of that? Why would you put out fires you didn't start?

Well, if God asks you to do it, you do it. 

I went almost a year without seeing my sister, who is one of my best friends. Life was so busy, and due to distance, we just could not connect any closer than our phones {what would we do without texting and quick little phone calls, on the go?!}.

Over Thanksgiving vacation I got to do life with her for a few days.

My sister with her three energetic boys,

her 4 and 5 yr old foster boys,

and her brand new foster bebe boy.

Some one else's "fire".

{hello cute little fire, who stole my heart}

Why would anyone do the hard work? Who has the energy for that?

I guess you just have to breathe in grace so you can breathe it out.

Just thinking about them slows me down.



open your eyes.


Katarina said...

Thank you!
I love you writing, life has been busy and I have missed reading your blog.
These words were needed and I appreciate them.

Jeanette Knutson said...

Thank you so much for this post. I read it and could not get it out of my mind. The phrase "Breathe in grace, Breath out grace" is now up in my home. Thanks again!