Thursday, September 6, 2012

 In which I declare our desire to be uncomfortable

So, this happened on Tuesday:

Guess who can hear herself think now?! ME! ;) 

It's strange

It's foreign

It has moments of hard

..and has its moments of refreshing and nice. 

Having just Kai here from 8:30 - 4 is an adjustment for this busy mama!

His sweetness mixed with the lack of need for competing for…anything has been a delight. I love this boy.

 I love him in the mix of chaos that is our family, and I am learning to love this new personality blooming on his own. 

For me… well, I am seeing that the fact that I have felt scattered and {beyond} unorganized all summer was not all just a reflection of my lack of discipline. With all four here, all day every day, I truly did struggle with getting any task done from start to finish. The past 3 days of the older three being in school has given validity to that theory. 

I believe I may have possibly been more productive in the past three days than I had been all summer. *grin*

This isn't to say that I love having my boyzees gone. 

They are my heart, and you all know that. 

But I feel a little bit like I can breathe. That's all.

I am clipping coupons (which I just couldn't find time for before)

I am planning meals instead of throwing convenience stuff together at the last minute

I am getting some valuable time in the Word - and actually ingesting it, instead of reading a paragraph over and over, while refereeing a sibling squabble, while overseeing play time out on the swing set

I'm spending more time in my "office" (desk between kitchen and dinging room with paperwork all over it) planning for my business… and getting so excited for where it is going

I'm editing photo sessions in half the time it used to take me

I am organizing my home

I am working on following God in obedience on changes in our budget

Oh - and LOOK! I am blogging!

I want to talk more about where God has us right now. We are daily seeking him for how our family can best serve him.

How we can represent Him best to His world.

About 14 months ago we felt a very strong tugging on our hearts towards some changes. He has since done some radical renovating of our mindset. 

He has placed within us a burning desire to follow Him with all that we are and all that we have.
To no longer buy into the "security" of any earthly thing. 
Not to live for the "American dream" of good education, good job, good paycheck, nice car, retire well, fancy vacations, happily ever after…. 

Those things are fine. Quite possibly even reflections of God's smile and blessing. But they become gods far too easily! We won't bow down to that. 

We went through the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan last year, and we were humbled to tears by chapter four, "Profile of the Lukewarm".

Guys, - many paragraphs in that chapter matched up way too closely with our hearts. Not cool. Not okay. 

This quote, "It is not scientific doubt, not atheism, not pantheism, not agnosticism, that in our day, and in this land is likely to quench the light of the gospel. It is proud, sensuous, selfish, luxurious, church going, hollow hearted, prosperity" pretty much hit its target deep in our souls and began ripping out the weeds of living for ourselves. 

Those weeds continue to try to grow back up and squelch the work that God has begun, but you know the truth.

New International Version

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Francis Chan said that “Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers.” 
{And I would venture to add that there are times we need to take steps of obedience that won't even make sense to believers at times.}

And so, we are pursuing a life that may be uncomfortable. It is our prayer that we will be "unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through"

We know that God wants us to serve him with every waking hour of our lives. Logistically, and from a practically standpoint, we are still seeking Him on what exactly that looks like. 

Dave applied for a ministry position a couple of hours from here, and we can/will pursue that more when we feel the nudge. In the mean time we have felt a "pause" on those plans as we take a few more steps of obedience that we didn't' even expect. God is bringing ministry opportunities to us right and left. 

Crazy how situations to serve present themselves all over the place when you seek. When you allow your eyes to be opened. When you ask for the mind of Christ. When your heart breaks for what breaks His. 

God has literally brought people in need onto our doorstep, into our places of work, and intersecting with all areas of our lives. 

It's exciting, folks! 

And overwhelming

and exhausting

and…. completely makes no sense… if God is not in it. :) 

He is. 

And He is growing us by leaps and bounds. 

{Hey, look at that. 3 kiddos in school and I get my words back.}

Have a great day, friends!! 


Andrea said...

So exciting! Happy you have those quiet moments, and time to re-group, and special time with the littlest. Oh, and those school pics are just wonderful!

Jenn said...

YES! God is amazing when we go all out after Him! When we live our lives with only one goal in mind and that is to serve and glorify Him with our every breathing moment! I read Crazy Love this summer...WOW! Have you read Radical or Radical Together? I think these would exactly line up with the path you are heading down.

Great post!

Trisha said...

So exciting, Wendi! I will be praying for your family as you move into ministry. I'm glad you're back to blogging again!

Leslie said...

oh Wendi,
Yes yes yes and to all of this. I nod with you as our family is being challenged our sense of success is being redefined, our longings being questioned. Yes yes and yes. I love your heart for your savior, and how I see it played out. And yes to lukewarm... Seriously if you get a second read interrupted by Jen Hatmaker..... really loved, and was challenged so deeply by it, and that sense of abandon living, similar to crazy love..... its so so good.

Lindsay said...

Wow! Keep letting God do His thing! :)