Words have always been therapy to me.
But I have known times when they simply were not adequate.
I guess this is one of those times.
I'm in the thick of marriage, ministry, friendship, motherhood...
So many posts could be attached to each of those words.
Marriage is hard, y'know? It's like this amazing gift. Exceeding expectations and offering this fulfillment to that relational magnetism that we all find ourselves experiencing.
Companionship. Someone to be there when you step through the door. That knowing and being known.
Some one who doesn't care if you text them and tell them what you had for lunch... good stuff like ;).
But it's hard. And sometimes people try to tell you that, and you read books that try to prepare you, but until you are there... you think "we're different". And older, more mature people in your life smile that little knowing smile and tilt there head and just say, "okay".
Well, tomorrow is our 11. Eleven years of fulfillment,
lunch food texting,
We've grown together in ways that I have no words for, just in the past 2 weeks. Honestly it's been a growth and closeness nurtured by hard.
Tomorrow is a very special day - it represents so much good in my life. I adore the man that God has gifted me with. Even more, I am blessed by the way that God has used him to cause growth in my life. Sometimes that growth is like pruning, and it hurts.
But he makes me a better person.
Ministry is a roller coaster. Ministry at a crisis pregnancy center can rip your heart out. Yes, I did know that when I applied. I knew I was going to have to rely on God, so as not to become personally/emotionally entangled in everything that went on behind those doors. I am most certainly personally invested, but God has done abundant miracles in helping to protect me from utter discouragement and heart break. The past week has had the ingredients of utter heartbreak. It has been a week that has driven me to my knees.
Therefore, it makes me a better person.
Friendship is a gift. I can not thank God enough for the amazing, strong, caring, heartfelt women he has placed in my life. I am blessed, blessed, blessed. Sometimes it hurts to share the tough stuff. The ugly. But in that sharing is this unfolding of truth and betterment.
So - you, know, I guess friendship really makes me a better person.
Motherhood. *deep breath*.
Hands down, toughest job I have ever had. And why is nap time gone from this house? I am most certainly not ready for that. No, it will NOT do.
These little boys... are so inquisitive, and lovely, and stubborn, and they stretch me and challenge me. I thought I knew impatience, I thought I knew frustration; I thought I knew love and captivation.
But never until I was called a mama.
So, all that stuff; well, it makes me better and for that I am learning to be completely thankful.