Wednesday, January 26, 2011

 peace

It's hard to explain this settled-ness.

This feeling of overwhelming fulfillment and gratefulness.

I sit here with my laptop - finding no way to creatively use my fingertips on small lettered squares to convey the peace that God has flooded into my life.

So much new has come into our lives over the past year. I was fearful of some of it.

Dave reentering school


Moving out of the baby stage with our boys


Financial restructuring

Among other things that don't make it onto the blog (yes, there are a few... *wink*)


There was new and unknown

Caution

Some rough transitions

And then this...


Peace.


Dave and I have together made breakthroughs as a couple.

Striving daily to seek the good of the other - more than our own natural self seeking.

It was not always this way {and some days it still isn't}.

And I believe that this has a whole lot to do with the peace we are experiencing at the moment.


And yet, there is this thread of fear, threatening the sweetness of the peace.

It is an old, old enemy.

One I do not care for at all.

It's the "waiting for the other shoe to drop" syndrome.

If things are going this well right now - surely a trial is in the not-to-far future!

Ugghhh..

Does that ever pop in to your mind?

When times are good - really, really good - does worry rob you of simply relaxing and basking in the joy of the moment?

It makes me so mad that I do this.

My goal right now is to savor this peace - and hold steady, on the solid rock, when the winds pick up and the storm clouds gather.

Right now I am smiling.

Smiling at the sweetness of friends you can be real with.

Smiling that in two weeks I will be 30 - and in my mind that is really a good thing.

Smiling that my menu is planned for the rest of the week.

Smiling that in two hours my family will all be together for the entire evening.

Smiling that right now - we are all healthy (YES!).


Sweet peace.

6 comments:

Tammy said...

You are a breath of fresh air. Awesome post!

Ashley said...

I am exactly the same! Fear of what's "probably" coming robs me of enjoying the good. My prayer often has become "God help me receive and enjoy Your blessings and gifts without fear." It seems ridiculous to have to pray that, but honestly for me it can be a real struggle. One more reason why we're supposed to only worry about today! Glad to know I'm not the only one :)

Rachel said...

Wendi - you are a gift and your blog blesses me more than you'll ever know. I so relate to this - waiting for something bad rather than being thankful for this time of goodness. The way you share about your marriage - the good and the difficult - has had a big impact on me. Thank you for sharing your heart in this way.

Katarina said...

Praising God for the peace He is filling your life with. Such a wonderful, incredible feeling. May it continue even if 'the other shoe' does drop!

Amy@My Front Porch said...

Oh yes. I've got that "waiting for the other shoe to drop" syndrome! It's good to know I'm not the only one :)

The Sneaky Mommy said...

We're studying Phil. 4:8 focusing on "whatever things are true, think on these things." SO challenging to my mom mind that is usually filled with "what if's" and worry! BUT, you are right, finding joy in the present and being grateful for those things does bring peace!