Friday, December 31, 2010

 It is what it is.... and it wasn't very pretty

So, Christmas....

It  was.... um, well, how about you tell me about yours instead?


it was disappointing. And to be honest... pretty miserable.

We traveled all day Christmas Eve, over 500 miles, in anticipation of a whole week with my family in Iowa.

And then we got sick.

I started it early Christmas morning. And spent all day Christmas day either in my parents bathroom, or crawling from the bathroom to the bedroom. It led to nasty dehydration, and then the sharing began. First Kai, then Jay, and Noe...

We were away form home - totally germing up my parent's home, and had to cancel half of the plans we had made for our Christmas vacation. Plans with siblings, Aunts, dear friends.... canceled because of a very uninvited, and quite nasty, stomach flu.

There were some sweet nuggets of time when we were able to enjoy family and special activities, and I am thankful for that.

Now we are home - Dave is sick in bed, and I am getting all of our laundry done and various bags unpacked (by various I mean approximately 27.5 bags of random needed items for a family of six to go on vacation for 7 days).

I was fighting some discouragement this morning.

What a Christmas. I love Christmas, and Christmas 2010 was so not what I had in mind.

What a way to end 2010. 

Why this? 

Why now? 

Why the one of about 3 times per year that I get to see my family, was I out of commission?

But then I had to ask myself, Why not us? and, Why not now?

Were we ever promised health through the holidays? Nope.

Were we ever promised more protection than others who must face sickness? Nope.

It's just one of those side effects. Side effects of all the yuck in the world.

Do I wish things would have gone differently? Why yessss.

But I have no control over it. And (my new motto) It is what it is.

It is not what I wish it was.

It is not what I dream up.

It is not what I plan.

It just is what it is. Reality. 

2010 was a year where I truly felt that the big lesson God was leading me to and teaching me through was a lesson in trusting him as it pertained to our finances. And, through his grace, I feel like my mind is finally wrapping around that one.

Okay God, yes, I see now. We are not going to know where it will come from. Some times I will have to blindly trust you for each and every bill, grocery visit, need, but it will always be there. Always always, through surprises all your own and of your orchestrating, the money will just be there.Trusting you, trusting you, trusting you.

I have a feeling, because he has already started this uncomfortable process in  my heart, that 2011 is going to be a year where He really brings home this lesson in reality. Acceptance of the things I have no control over. The things that I am just going to have to say, over and over, it is what it is. And He is going to help me to put a smile on my face, and look up to Him, and say "no" to the self pity that entices.

So for a trip that started in anticipation and neared an end in a McDonald's parking lot, scrubbing at the upholstery in a car seat with baby wipes and paper towels, it seems appropriate to start embracing this lesson, don't you think?

And let me just put out a big, loving shout out to my mom and dad, who had compassionate servant's hearts in caring for me and my littles as the most unpleasant of circumstances invaded their home for the holidays. A daughter can't repay something like that. So, thank you.


Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...

I'm sorry! But, if it makes you feel better, when I saw you on Sunday at church, I would have never guessed you'd been still looked stunning :)

Anne Elizabeth said...

Your Christmas sounds about like ours. We are still dealing with the sickness. Your attitude about your Christmas is a lot better than mine is though. I am still struggling with not being incredibly disappointed. 2010 has been a difficult year for us, and I cannot wait for it to be over.

Cottage Mommy said...

So sorry you faced sickness over your Christmas vacation! Love that you allow God to teach you things through it though and that you allow His perspective to color your world. Thanks for sharing your faith and family with us!

Mama Belle said...

Aw ... so sorry. Well, the new year is right around the corner. Things are lookin' up!

Sara said...

OH boo! It is no fun being sick, but add in a holiday AND being away from home...oh, dear :P
We alos had a bit of "sickness" 'round these parts...a certain relative of mine came down with some serious "grinch-itis" and we were'n't able to see some sweet family members. It IS disappointing when things don't turn out the way we hope for, but you are correct in saying it's not about what WE want, it is what it is: reality.
Wishing you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR!
(haha my word verif is Snow it)

Katarina said...

:( sick is no fun.
I too have asked (a lot) this past year "Why not now?" "Why not us?" "Why not this?"
So as you enter 2011, it is my prayer that God will completely floor you with His grace and mercy as you try to live out the "Why nots" in a way that pleases Him.
(Praying too that you will remember that He is your strength through it all (for He never grows tired or weary and His understanding no one can fathom) because it sure isn't gonna be easy...been there, walked that road this past year and have a feeling it's not quiet over yet!)

Heather of the EO said...

Oh man...sorry about Christmas, that's awful!

And a part of learning surrender it sounds like. I'm so glad you've got that perspective because you're inspiring. :)

Peace to you and yours in the New Year!

dani said...

you are right, wendi, "it is what it is!" and, even in sickness we are HIS, and THAT is good:) hope everyone is well SOON!
much love,
dani xxxxx

BARBIE said...

I am so sorry you were all sick at Christmas. And we have had our share of financial trouble, due to unemployment and losing our home. We know what it is like to completely trust the Lord. Scary at times, yes, but He has always proven faithful. It's hard to let go some times and allow Him to have complete control. Praying for you as you continue to surrender to Him.

Marissa Kaye said...

where in iowa are you from?