Wednesday, September 15, 2010

 A little bedroom talk

I am learning, through the busyness of life with several little boys constantly running circles around us, the importance of making sure that there is a space that is for just us.

So, ladies (married ones that is... sorry if everyone else feels left out), how are you cultivating your relationship with the man who works so hard for you? The one who has loved you through every struggle you never expected and all that is better than good?

When we remodeled our bedroom last year I was thrilled over new, fresh, and warm paint colors. The restructuring of our room, which provided space for a walk in closet and corner jacuzzi tub made my heart all a flutter.

I knew it would be a wonderful change from the old, drab, plaster falling off look it used to have. - Besides that, I was determined that I would do better at keeping it tidy. I had allowed our room to be a catch all for the things I didn't know what to do with. It was rather unkempt, and was one of the least attractive rooms in the house.

What I didn't realize was the extent of the positive impact it would really have on us as a couple.

I remember when the final nail was secured and the last coat of paint was dried, we finally moved back into our room. We lay in our bed and looked around. We took it all in - from the new ceiling fan, gently rustling the crisp curtain behind us, to the lovely bronze waterfall faucet on our tub.

We grinned like silly children. "It's so clean. And peaceful", he said.

It was.

It became the place that the rest of the world could fade away for awhile.

And we found out time and time again that was hard to stay made at each other in the peace of that room,

...when the rest of the house felt chaotic, our space being orderly and tranquil would give us just the rest and encouragement we needed,

...having a constant, familiar, sweet place for us has built us up and helped us to be able to face the big responsibilities that have been given to us.

I had heard it said before that clutter and lack of care to your bedroom can be a detriment  to your marriage. I don't think I took that very seriously. Obviously these are just outward things, and working on your marriage goes much deeper than a clean room. That is an obvious fact - but that being said, it truly does amaze me that these little intentional details can, indeed, make an important difference!

Of course all of our budgets do not allow for a complete bedroom overhaul (we had some blessed help and are incredibly thankful!) - but that is not the point. The point is this: putting in time and effort to make that space special. Caring. Investing.

Scented candles.

Keeping things clean, welcoming, pleasant.

Paying attention to things like lighting and eliminating clutter.

Soft music.

Making your bed every morning so that when you enter that space, exhausted and perhaps overwhelmed from a long day, you can just collapse into the softness of your bed.



Do not neglect the investment of loving one another in the details.

When we shut that door each night we remember that before those precious boys came into our world (wish I could figure out how that happened) there was us. Us needs to be a priority before them. - Yes, some may disagree with me or perceive me as a poor mother for making such a statement. For real though - with out "us", where does that leave "them"?

Make it special ladies. Invest.


Amy@My Front Porch said...

A big hearty AMEN to that! Decorating our bedroom first has been one of the best things we ever did! Every once in awhile I think about how we don't have enough chairs in our living room or I wish the "main" space of the house was all decorated -- but then we relax at the end of the night in our tranquil little corner of the house and those feelings all go away! And you are right -- without "us" where does that leave "them"? The best thing you can do for you kids is to cultivate your marriage!

Katarina said...

I agree, nicely said!

The Sneaky Mommy said...

Love this! Every word is so true! Now about that jacuzzi tub...need to lobby for one of those! :)

{Jodie} said...

I like that - without "us" where does that leave "them". Good stuff, that.

Thanks for the reminder. Ours is looking like a junk drawer right now - filled with stuff that I haven't made another home for yet. Gonna work in there today though- thanks to your post. :)

Sara said...

I completely agree. We try, but it always seems like our room is the "dumping ground" toys that are taken away, toys that are broken and need fixing, clothes that are worn at the end of the day, that are not quite dirty and not really clean...clothes that need mending. It all kinda just adds mass to an already tiny space.
I hate to sound ungrateful for the things we have/ the roof over our heads, the actual bed even if it's 15 years old...I wish I could just pitch those broken toys and clothes that need mending, just pitch and ditch all the stuff with out care. Honestly if I could get rid of or have a special storeage place for ONE thing in our room it would be all my husbands HATS! I could do a whole post on his hats. But I don't dare touch them, it would be like him going through my craft stuff or make-up.
Which brings me to this: We turn out the lights and light candles, everything looks so much better in candle light! {especially me! ;) }

Rachel @ Unexpected Blessings said...

Okay I am off to straighten up our cluttered bedroom. :) Love you girl!

Leslie said...

we have always kept our room for us..

this house.. we so despereately need to do our room.... the last and most waiting room in the house... sighh.

but I nod and agree with all of this... I so so do.. Nick and I swear by it.... :)

glad you have a little spot for you.

Rachel said...

I love this post! And now I totally want to redecorate!

Megan said...

Well... I'm ready to head out and buy a new bedding set! :) I know it does make a difference!! Your room is GORGEOUS! I love the amber colors!!
Blessings Wendi!

Renata said...

Your room is beautiful & inviting! You've done a wonderful job in the remodel!
I love the way you said "do not neglect the investment of loving one another in the details" - something I need to pay closer attention to at times!
I think you can be a great mother when you do learn to put your marriage before the children!
Thanks for this lovely post

CRJFamily said...

Thanks Wendi. I need that inspiration and encouragement. I think I may have a little project on my hands in the near future! You are so right and I think sometimes our husbands get the leftovers.

Louisiana Tara said...

Big, fat AMEN to this!!! "Us" has got to come first. And I think you and Dave have done a wonderful job building a space that's just for the two of you! :)

Redhead Mommy said...

*Like* ;) Well put!

Angela Nazworth said...

Love this! Well said my sweet friend