The rhythm of my life as a mommy

It seemed I had just about caught up on my sleep after spending 17 hours in the hospital with K when I began to notice Noe's cough sounding much worse. I thought he just had my cold. But then noticed his breathing was labored and much too fast. Another doctor visit? I knew what to look for - Fast heart rate, retracting, not eating. My mellow little guy would not stop crying. He was waking up in the night sobbing and coughing till it seemed his whole body was just exhausted. So, off to the after hours clinic on a Sunday afternoon. He alternated between sweetness, questions, and cuddling and fussing, clinging, and coughing. Chest x-ray, concerned medical staff, breathing treatment, and finally to the pharmacy and home. Beginning stages of pneumonia. Not so nice looking lungs. He's vulnerable to this sort of thing because of his constant fight with RSV when he was 5-8 months old. Doing so much better today! Still sleepy and kind of clingy to mommy. But really - who minds that? Breathing treatments every four hours. Lots of liquids. Watching Jay very close. So sad that he grabbed, and drank from , Noe's sippy yesterday. Praying protection around him. Seeing a wonderfully energetic K. So thankful. More thankful than before. Trying to get into some what of a routine again. Feeling a bit discombobulated after the kind of week we had last week Amazed at all God can show one when they find themselves alone with their child in a small room in the ER. The dark and the quiet broke through the otherwise busy constancy of my life. With such a precious one lying asleep in my arms I allowed that still small voice to reveal so much. So much about identity, control, love, selflessness, full reliance on Him, My utter helplessness... and yet complete capability only through Him. Still pondering it all. A heart overflowing with answered prayers. So many. In so many ways. Going to work this afternoon. A welcomed change of pace. And yet knowing I will be back with my babies in a matter of hours. Knowing I will learn and grow. Because I never come home from the Center for Women the same as I was when I left home. Anticipating a wonderful night away with David in Chicago. Only 11 more days. But who's counting? :) Trying to find rest. Trying to find balance. Learning more flexibility. Seeking Him each and every day. Because with out that I couldn't do this.