Wednesday, May 28, 2008

 I may have mentioned it a couple of times...

..I really love my husband. Kind of a predictable statement that would draw a "well, uh... you married him, you better love him!" type of response. I guess it has become a little bit more of a noteable statement to me because I have, sadly, watched way too many people proclaim their love in marriage only to be blind sided by disillusionment and then, in turn, allow their marriages to dissolve. That wouldn't be hard to do. That's another reason it stands out to me more. We've known disillusionment; boy have we known disillusionment! In the first 2 years of marriage we experienced 16 months of trying to get pregnant to no avail, then naturally getting pregnant with identical twins, bed rest, hospitalization, giving birth 15 weeks early, the death of our first born son, and facing raising a child with special needs. That's alot to work through for any couple, but for one in the infancy of their marriage it seems to me that it could be make or break material.

The aforementioned struggles only document the parenting side of us. There have been other issues in our marriage that have shook us to the core. Made us question, made us waver, made our eyes wide and our thoughts go down a path of uncertain speculation. And then we chose. Just like we talked about in the beginning. When the sun shone daily and it seemed like the birds were singing just for us. :) We talked about the fact that love is a choice. We laughed that we certainly would never have to make an intentional choice to love each other- it just came so naturally. It would always be perfect; magical! But still, we held strongly to the belief that life is full of choices, loving your spouse being an important one. That held us together many times. When the naivety wore off and the birds sang a different song.

Even in the harsh times something I have a deep appreciation for about what my Dave and I have is the fact that we genuinely like each other. Again, sounds like a pretty expected and general statement. But it is true. We have very similar thoughts and feelings on the things that are most important to us: our relationship with Jesus, parenting, giving, life goals, priorities. We even share alot of the little things that don't really matter -personal preferences. Of course their are lots of things that we have immensely different perspectives on as well - guy/girl type differences, but for the most part we just really harmonize.

There are so many things about him that I deeply respect. I love the way he has such a strong compassion for any one in need. How he has such a drive to help. I love his sense of humor. That comedy which some would roll their eyes at has snuck into my life and now makes me laugh..like those real, deep, belly laughs. :) I love his eyes. Profoundly blue. I love his patience. He's really patient! Especially with me... I love his dedication and determination. I love his sensitive heart for God. That longing for more. That conviction to be the man he was created to be. I love his admirable work ethic. I love the way he coaches and encourages the young people he encounters at work, at church, on his softball team - even last night through the discouragement of his teams loss. I loved that it wasn't the final score that had him down, but the fact that their team strives for a high standard in playing fairly- and how that contrasted with the team they played (the opposing team not only beat our guys, but seemed to do it with questionable plays and gloating pleasure). I love how important it is to Dave that the guys on his team do not let the wins go to their heads; that they are good winners as well as good losers.

I love him as a daddy. Oh the sweetness of watching him love these boys!! Experiencing how thrilled he is about this newest life...hearing his prayers for our baby.

I love him.

I won't always feel this love. I just won't. But it will always be there. Some days I will be mad. Some days sad. Some days disappointed. But my heart still beats a little faster when I hear his truck drive into our driveway. When I hear the ring signifying it is him calling my cell phone. His arms are still my favorite place to be. Could there be any thing better?

Last Saturday night Dave's mom watched the boys for us so we could enjoy some 'just the two of us' time. I love those times! Having the boys with us is fun and fast paced and busy, and just-so where we are at right now. But once in a while we get the privilege to focus on one another with out distractions, and it is really sweet!

We got some food (Tried finding something this teeny little womb baby of mine would allow me to eat...), walked around, talked, and enjoyed the relaxation of not being required to do anything. It didn't matter that it got really cold, that we were exhausted, or that I had to stop for a restroom every few minutes. :) We were together. We learned more about each other, our town, our camera, and our God. And just like all great dates, it ended with the awe of an amazing sunset and fireworks. Love those fireworks.

10 comments:

Joyfulsheep said...

I love hearing you talk about your family the way you do. You have such a nack for lifting them up even in the tough times. You are such an inspiration to me. I am so glad my cousin found you as a wife. I don't think he could have found a better one!

Sarah M. said...

Is it fireworks season already?!!! I can't wait! I was up roofing with Don last night, I bet we could see fireworks pretty well from up there.... maybe not, I'd be too spazzed about falling! HONESTLY, I am glad we got more of the roof shingled, but my nerves were shot by the time we got home!

Elizabeth said...

it is so wonderful to hear you speak of your hubby so lovingly in this world of artificial vows. we have learned through some difficult hurdles that we grew so much closer than we ever thought possible when God chose to test our faith and strength in Him...namely through infertility. we feel so privileged that it drew us closer together and closer to God when we heard of many other couples choosing divorce instead. we are truly blessed.

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

You have scripted a beautiful tribute to your husband and to love and to the hard choices made to keep the tribute alive! Indeed, from my brief read of your blog, you've both walked a difficult journey thus far, and yet your love radiates through your pictures and your words.

Keep making that hard choice. It is a choice I finally quit making after 7 years of marriage. God graced my life a few years later with Billy...my Ephesians 5:25. We have been married for almost 11 years and have had the privilege of raising (and continue to raise) 4 children (19, 16, 7, 5). My oldest just finished his first year of college and my youngest just graduated from K.

I've been parenting nearly half my life. In many ways, we've all grown up together.

Here's what I want to say to you...

Thank you for keeping love alive in your household. At the end of the day...at the end of 18 years when you watch them pack their load to leave the nest, what is left is the love that you two have groomed in the hard seasons.

And yes, you will laugh and cry all in the same breath and be thankful for the grit and determination of these days.

You're a fantastic penner of thoughts. Keep writing, and I will be back.

peace for the journey~elaine

Becoming Me said...

Oh Wendi, God made you so beautiful! I loved reading about your love for your husband and family.

mamachristina said...

It is refreshing to read about real and true love. My dad always said "you'll never know if your marriage can make it if it is never tried". I was annoyed at the time, and I wasn't married yet, but I never forgot it and believe the truth in it now. God bless.

Tracy said...

It gave me such joy to read the loving words you wrote about your husband and the beautiful relationship shared by the two of you. What a blessing and gift to see how the trials of your marriage have drawn you closer to each other and strengthened your commitment.

I love the way your blog tells your family story...

Thank you for visiting my blog today and encouraging me with your kind words. = ) Looking forward to stopping by again soon.

Blessings,
Tracy

Lisa said...

How true it is!
Marriage is tough and it takes work, but it is all worth it at the end of the day!
How wonderful that you get to spend your life with someone who you enjoy so much!
You are so blessed, sweet girl, very very blessed

TheRagan3 said...

What a beautiful tribute to your husband! It made me remember why I love my hubby so much too! Marriage is a partnership, it takes teamwork and WORK period. But when you are committed to the same goal, how much sweeter it is!
Thank God for our "soulmates"!\
Erinn

Kari Dawson said...

So sweet Wendi! Your hubby sounds a lot like mine; right down to the bald head too. I love the pics of you guys as well. Jesus is our glue.