To get up and walk over

I want to be the one who gets up and walks over. 

Even when it might feel awkward and I may not know what to say. 

Even when it might be much more comfortable to sit right where I'm at.

I want to be that person because I've been the one who has been on the other side. I have been the one trying to gather my emotions and deal with chaos when a friend simply walked over and sat down next to me. She brought peace. 

Our Caleb struggles with change. He loves our Iowa family, and this summer we made two trips to Iowa in a four week time frame. When our second trip was coming to a close he started feeling the big emotions of knowing goodbye's were coming the next day. Something he had just done a few short weeks before. It just so happened to become a source of anxiety and agitation at my nephews wedding reception. As the wedding photographer I was pretty immersed in the job at hand. Dave had been helping me throughout the day, but as dinner time came he was able to focus more on Caleb. We both saw him escalating. The worry became frustration and it can look a whole lot like anger/terror/meltdown. It happened really fast. I didn't think it would become full blown - but I was wrong. 

It's not easy to see at all. We have a medication that helps, but of course, that was one thing that didn't make it into my bag when packing. I'm fairly used to it because it's something we experience regularly. But it's still hard when it happens, no matter what. Having it happen in public is a whole thing. It never won't be hard. In front of 200 + people is even worse. I found out later, only the few tables closest to us were even aware anything was going on, but of course in that moment my mommy heart was just sure the whole place heard him and he was disrupting the entire reception. 

He wasn't. 

And we were fine. 

But his thrashing hands, shrieking voice, and digging nails made an impact. Mostly they impacted Dave's skin. Blood dripped down his arm and onto his dress pants. Dave overpowered him with physical strength, but as always it completely drained his own strength, physically and emotionally. As he maneuvered Caleb out of the room, struggling with each step to calm our anxiety ridden man child, I tried taking deep breaths and not looking around too much. Most people in the tables closest to ours averted their eyes in respect. This is a point in which no one can help. We can't have anyone else step in. It only escalates things and it risks more injury. No one knows what to say after such a display of vulnerable and damaging strength. I would not know what to say. 

And then a friend got up and walked over. Right into the place the chaos had all unfolded and just sat right down. There wasn't an "elephant in the room" of what just happened. She just asked.

"Is this hard for him?

Is traveling hard?

Is it chaotic? Too much?"

No, I explained, it's really just the impending goodbyes.

So she asked about our life with him. What we went through. The things people don't see. Behind the scenes. Was it hard?

I suppose you could call us acquaintances, since we only see each other once every few years, and have always lived over 500 miles apart. But we've always just had a kindred spirit thing going on. Sometimes there's an intuitive knowing. Some may be a mama heart. Some is a God heart. Regardless, it inspired me. 

When I don't know what to say. 

Feel woefully inadequate, 

have no clue what the next step should be 

- to just get up and walk over. 

You might not know the battles others are facing. You might not know the impact a simple choice to walk into their chaos for a minute might make.