No, you aren't one of the kids.
Birthdays aren't that big of a deal after you hit your mid 20's, I know.
It's pretty corny to write blog posts to yourself.
Annnd… all that being said,
you aren't going to want to forget.
You won't want to forget the morning you turned 33.
That your feet hit the floor and you filled your lungs with air, and felt so grateful.
Grateful that God had granted you 33 years of living well, loving deeply, hurting until it stretched you to better, learning new things every single day, and most importantly - getting to know your Creator intimately.
Please don't forget the busy day with so many ordinary moments, and the sweet effort that your five boys made to insure that it was extraordinary.
Don't forget it, because for all of the ordinary and all of the hard days that must be lived, you need to remember how much they love you and how they expressed it this day.
From the moment they awoke they were full of hugs, "happy birthday mommy!" and "I love you's"
Don't forget their love.
Don't forget their sweet arms around your neck and how excited they were to celebrate you.
The creases around your smile seemed deeper.
The bags under your eyes a little darker.
And you were okay with that.
Ok, maybe a little disconcerted, but mostly okay.You stood in front of the mirror. You peered right and you peered left, examining your skin and the different tone and texture to some areas of your hair where the grays have been covered but somehow still seem to want to stand out from the rest.
This getting older thing takes some adjustments. It is subtle, happens without permission, and can catch you off guard.
Somehow though, somehow strive to make that sparkle in your eye ageless. Just do
The gentle snowfall felt a bit like what it might feel like to be inside of a snow globe. The snowfall, of course, is not noteworthy this winter. It is almost an everyday occurrence. Still, it was a very pretty snow that fell on February 11th, 2014.
Don't forget the generosity of your mother in law taking Kai for several hours, making you lunch (oh the deliciousness of homemade chicken and dumpling soup!), and sitting down with you to order a most meaningful and sentimental gift.
The texts, voice mail messages, facebook (OH MY!), emails, cards in the mail - all of it, remember.
Your big sister spoiling you with these over the top feminine, pink, satin, jeweled, ruffled slippers.
Time in your kitchen (alone!), worship tunes turned high, and baking up a storm. Maybe you can forget that batch of cookies that got ruined….. but perhaps that hiccup is an important part of the journey too. You didn't cry, so that's progress, right?
The homemade pretzels, however, were delish and delivering them was a highlight of your day.
Oh, and the free car wash and free coffee? FOR SURE remember those awesome things. :)
Remember how you smiled to yourself and felt like three coffee shops were courting you, as you had to decide which one of three free birthday coffee offers to redeem. What a great problem to have! *wink*
The quiet, the fireplace in the coffee shop, the kindness of strangers…. they blessed you and you felt a peacefulness and contentment in your entire being that you need to carry with you in the crazy days.
The afternoon/evening was packed and busy.
Through the later homecoming of your school guys because of extracurricular activities,
the preparation of four sets of valentines,
the involved third grade Wright brothers project,
the spelling words,
and the supper prep - you saw those sweet apologetic eyes of the man who loves you dearly.
Those eyes said, "I know it's your birthday, and I'm sorry it's crazy."
They met your eyes across the table,
across four little people,
busy and all talking at once and adding to All The Crazy.
And those loving eyes kept you grounded.
Keep assuring him that you know the crazy,
you live the crazy,
and as much as the crazy drains you, it fills you.
There's no one you would rather meet eyes with across the crazy.
He stepped out in the snow and grilled for you. Hero.
The food was amazing,
the chocolate/coffee cake perfection,
and their efforts truly made you feel like a princess.
Remember your little artists excitement in gifting you some of his precious creations.
Remember ALL of their excitement during the gift exchanging.
Oh my - and always remember that this year - this year they surprised you.
(Dave + your camera = All The Expressions)
-This year they nailed it, and they kept it under wraps. Priceless!
His card for you, the sustenance to your word loving soul - was certainly icing on the cake.
Oh to be loved like this. It feels indulgent and lavish. Almost too much. Like, is it okay to have all of this? So much in your life, when you don't deserve even an ounce of it.
But you will take it with open arms.You must let this love fill you up until it overflows and spreads through your world.
Keep living fully and loving until it hurts. And then love some more.
It will serve you well.
No, life is not about feeling special.
The point of your existence is not to enjoy special days.
It's not the reason you were created, but it is a benefit, for sure.
God smiles when He sees us enjoy this life He gave us.
He does want us to celebrate life!
And there are times that he just pulls out all the stops, fills you up, and then sits back to see what you will do with the love overflowing from your life.
Here's to another spin around the sun.
Here's to remembering the moments.
Especially, here's to loving the world with all the love that has been invested in you!