Friday, January 4, 2013
I am a little bit behind here because, wow have we been busy with birthdays and Christmas celebrations and New Years. Lots of good stuff! How fun it was to travel on your birthday! We made our Christmas trip to Iowa to spend time with my family - and it was most convenient to head out there on the 22nd of December; your sixth birthday. We asked if that would be a big 'ol bummer to you, but you grinned and said you thought it would be super fun. :) So, we did it. We got up early that day and had a lovely breakfast - per your request - of daddy's breakfast pizza. Then we loaded up and were on our way. We gave you one gift to open, and you chose to wait until we got into Indiana. I don't know why Indiana, but you were determined to wait. We sang "Happy Birthday" to you as we crossed each state line. Indiana, Illinois, and Iowa. Your grin and giggle each time was a treat. When we finally made it to our destination, Grandma Pat and Grandpa Leon's comfy warm home, Grandma Pat had a delicious cake waiting for you. I think this was one of your very favorite birthdays!
You are one of a kind - no doubt about that. It doesn't take much time with you to know that you are unique and there are qualities within you that are special. Mysteriously older than 6. That's why I call you my "old soul". I'm not the only one who sees it. Your teachers know to. We've talked about it, and smiled over it.
I love so much about you, little buddy. -And mixed in with all of that warm and fuzzy love is a puzzling frustration. I only say it because I am documenting our real life here. Your compassion and sensitive spirit are truly gifts from God! They are. I know it because he has gifted me similarly. We are alot alike, my little Noe man. And that likeness makes it hard sometimes. Because I have been there, I have played that game of "I feel left out". "
"My feelings are hurt."
"They would rather play together than play with me!"
Etc, etc, etc.
Oh my heart. How I know that path. Your sensitivity reaches out to the meek and hurting, but while you are young, and before you can process it all with added maturity, it can make you INTO the hurting. Sometimes it appears that you look for ways to be hurt. And that's the wall I am coming up against with you. I know part of the intensity with which I am feeling frustrated by this has to do with the fact that I am experiencing a mini me. I know how damaging it can be. And yet, I also know the beauty that comes from using this God-given sensitivity for Him. All for Him.
I pray that for you, you know. Every day. That you will nurture your soft heart and your bend towards Spirituality. I am nurturing it too. Together with your Creator, we will watch great things happen, okay?
You were so young when you started seeking after things that were not of an earthly nature. Jesus. Your soul. You believed, so whole heatedly, in your risen Savior at age 3! Asked Him to come into your life. And since then you have chased after Him as much as any young one can. So sweet. So heartwarming.
It was also at age three that you declared that you would be a missionary. We talk about it alot. You know that you are a missionary already. In your school, your kindergarten class, already doing what you know you were meant to do. Wow.
I remember at the Christmas party we went to for Daddy's work this year, you had the opportunity to play in the basement with all kinds of fun toys - with the other kiddos. We were going to be upstairs while daddy presented that devotional that the had prepared. I watched you slip up the stairs and find a spot with all of us adults. I whispered that you were more than welcome to go play, thinking perhaps you didn't realize that. But you just looked up at me, pushed your glasses up on your nose and whispered back, "I know mom, but I just want to learn as much about Jesus as I can".
Me too buddy. Me too. We can do this together; learn more about Jesus, and learn to manage this gift that is an ultra sensitivity.
I love you, and I love your heart, and I look so forward to seeing you grow and develop into everything that you were meant to be!