Gift number one thousand and one

Several months ago I began hearing alot about a book.

I read excerpts on blogs, and some made me teary.

After the name of this particular book came up over and over in my sphere of influence, I decided that it must not be coincidence.

So I bought it.

"One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp "A Dare to Live Fully, Right Where You Are".

Sounded like something that could really help with my perspective. I can't tell you the number of times that I have disengaged with my boys... my responsibilities... life around me... because I just wanted to wait for the hard parts to pass. There is so much wrong with that. I know that hard will never go away. And I know that sweet is so closely entwined with hard that you totally miss the best things of life when you shut your eyes and turn from hard. I am learning how important these things are. Right now. I am learning it now.

In reading through this book, I began to learn how better to live in each moment and find thankfulness. Making lists of what I was thankful for. The joy this can bring is amazing! I deeply appreciated the message of Ann's book.

Here's a little quirk about me; although I am very aware that you can't judge a book by its cover.... I do base some of my attraction to particular books on their visual appeal. And this one... well, I loved it. Something about hands cupping a nest...sweet robin's eggs, that perfect shade of blue....

As I was reading it, I began to mentally form a plan of how to display this book in my home.

A book stand that can hang on the wall,

vinyl letters...maybe spelling out "inspiration" or "thankful" above it,

somewhere that I would glance at it often and be reminded {live fully in this moment, engage, be thankful!}.


And then I found him one day...

the littlest one,

with a pen,

and the book.

Look at the pictures above again. Yep.

Here's a closer look.

He's been hard lately.

Really hard.

How quickly boys of a sweet, innocent, laid back temperament can become

aggressive, stubborn, defiant ones.


He's closing in on two...


I looked at him,

and the book,

and the pen.

It was hard. You may say, "it's just a book! No biggie."

I know. Really, I do.

Usually I am pretty good about letting things go. Things. They aren't important like people.

But, I am not proud to say, this just upset me.

I really liked the book.

I liked the cover.

I liked my idea to display it...


I felt overly warm and frustrated. I let him know how unhappy I was.

-How careless he was.


His lip quivered....

There we were - a mama and a little boy. The little one beginning to exert initiative,

creative expression,

curiosity.

Yes, obstinate stubbornness as well, BUT....

He is young, and he is learning.


He stood there, lip quivering - vacillating between not fully understanding his teary eyed babbling mama,

being sorry,

and wanting to draw some more.



I stood there, fingers pointing, frustration growing - wavering between knowing better,

giving in to my anger,

and just wanting to hug him.


Then both of our eyes were just drawn to the item being under such scrutiny...

The book.

"One Thousand Gifts"

"A Dare to Live Fully, Right Where You Are".

Wow.

Yes.

Eyes shut, reaching for him, cradling him close for the half a second that he would let me,

then slowly letting his squirming body go free.

Running around, chubby cheeks moving back up - pushed by his grin.

When he slowed his running in circles around me I talked to him, much more gently, about the appropriate places for writing and drawing, but then told him I loved him... and I was sorry.

Gift number 1001: a small boy who cares to express himself creatively

Books to read

Lessons for this mama to learn

Living in each moment fully, and taking the good with the bad...


No question; this book is going on display in my home.

I will glance at it often and I will remember my gifts.


* This post is dedicated to my friend Hayley, who after hearing all about this particular story, said "You need to blog this". :) She gets me.