Almost a first grader...

Today I went to one of his end of year parties.

I looked at the boy who, at the beginning of this kindergarten year, would not even step into the building if he wasn't holding tightly to my hand. I would walk him down the hallway, turn the corner, and hold his hand as we walked all the way to the end of the second hallway, to his kindergarten class.

It was all so unfamiliar. He was so used to being home with me. He only knew one other kid in his class...

Now he has a room full of chums.

He laughed when I asked if I could hold his hand one day last week when I walked in with him for a change.

Yes, he's growing. In alot of ways.

I remember the tears of one so young, facing so much new...

And now there are smiles, laughter, and spins, and twirls. No tears. Not at all.

My heart twists and turns with each move he makes. Because so much of my heart is him.

And he is changing.

He's reaching for new things. Great things and big things.

Oh how I love him.

I love him when he struggles to distinguish "b's" from "d's", and I love him when he figures out 4+5.

I love his laughter and grins.

I love the way he pretends.

I love him when he gets angry and stomps around the house.

I love to see the softening within him as he feels repentant and learns about a clear conscience.

I love the big brother he is becoming and the love he gives all of his brothers.

This guy thinks his brother Jay is pretty awesome too. He was pretty sure that he was one of the class today. I didn't have the heart to tell him he wasn't. So we pretended that he was. ;) He pretty much fit right in.

So as we wrap up his first year of school, we remember all of the growth and maturity that has taken place.

We feel great gratitude towards Mrs. B - who pushed him to be more than he thought he could be.

(There are some people who teach because they need a job. Then there are those who teach because it is in their blood; it is who they were born to be. This is our second year with a child in Mrs. B's kindergarten class and it is evident to us that she is the latter.)

We remember fun times, and birthday parties, and challenges, and learning about making friends, losing friends, always being kind...

We look at this little boy who God has gifted our family with and we see a very different boy than we did at the beginning of September.

I am so proud of him. My heart feels bursty happy and soft and breaky all at once.

Love you Jay! Quite alot.