Tuesday, February 15, 2011

 I'm so glad I went...

This morning my Grandma went to be with Jesus.

How could I ever begin to elaborate on this huge chapter that just closed in my life? I just can't right now.

She was incredible. She was just an incredible lady.

In the absence of words, which really just fail me right now, I am going to republish the post I wrote from the last time I saw her.

Imagine how often I am saying... {I'm glad I went, I am so glad I went}

"Iowa vacation highlights part 2 - where my Grandma calls my child frisky and my husband lovely"  (Originally posted on July 13th, 2010)

I have mentioned my grandma on the blog before. I have shared how disheartening it is to watch some one you love and remember as being sharp, spunky,  and independent begin to fail in memory as well as physical and overall mental capacities.

My grandma lives in Iowa. I only see her a couple of times each year.

And I have to admit something.

I almost didn't go to see her.

I almost let my uncertainty of what to say and how to deal with the certainty of not being recognized by her convince me that it didn't matter. She wouldn't know me any way - so it wouldn't matter.

But my heart, of course, was screaming at me that it mattered in ways I couldn't even comprehend.

So we went.

I asked my mom and aunt to go with me. I knew they visited more often and there was a chance she would know them. I tried to set my expectations realistically.

She was in her wheelchair in the garden area of the nursing facility that is now her home.

Her words didn't make alot of sense at first, but her eyes brightened noticeably. She tried to choose the words she wanted and it was obvious that she couldn't find them. Sometimes I grasped what she meant, sometimes I could not.

The boys were running around, talking, and playing - unbridled energy.
She made many hand motions and I understood her words to indicate that there were so MANY boys!

Yes, I know!! :)

And then she looked me in the eye and the words came out perfectly: 

"And is it true that you had to give one back?" 

Her sympathy could not be missed - but her meaning was at first.

I laughed and thought - well here we go again , words are just failing her, but that's okay.
Then I saw something in the way she was looking at me and I did a double take.
I did have to give one back.

I think she knows. 

And then she turned to K and smiled at him. Once again her words came more clearly than the other times she spoke. "And look at you. I used to feel sorry for you, but now you are just as frisky as your brothers!"

Frisky - she said frisky and I loved it!

I think she knew us and I think there are days when alot more goes on in her mind than I thought.

I also think that we would have missed out on a whole lot if I had allowed my hesitancy to rule my heart.

I don't know how many visits with her are left. 
-But I won't forget this one.

Oh - and another favorite moment with Grandma - 
We were getting ready to leave and she again was making motions and trying to indicate that there were alot of boys.


And she looked up at me and said "Oh honey - do you have help? -Does anyone come in to help you with all of this" - frantic  hand motion toward the plethora of boys running circles around us.
Loved it. I just smiled and motioned towards Dave. "He does. He's my help." :)
She looked at him and stared for a while and then said "Ohhh, what a lovely man!"

I think she is quite bright really.

Marjorie Marie 
2-23-1921 - 2-15-2011

I love you Grandma


Fairlightday said...

Have peace dear lady, your grandmother sounds wonderful, I love the name Marjorie, God's love and peace in your home today, such a special visit and a lovely precious memory, something to hold onto right now. <3

Phoebe said...

What a lovely memory. I will light a candle for her.

Katie@The Baby Factory said...

So sorry for your loss, Wendi. I love your memories of her :)

Megan said...

Bless you Wendi. I'm so sorry for your loss, but smile knowing your grandmother is dancing, & spinning with tears of pure joy and happiness. Her memory has returned and she admires your precious Joshua as she cradles him in her arms. Jesus is so glad to have her home. :')

Sending my love and prayers your way,

Becky G said...

What an amazing tribute to an obviously amazing woman...it seems she has passed her ability to find just the right words to you. Love you!

Penny said...

Oh, how beautiful. Prayers for you and your family, Wendi.

Trisha said...

I loved this post the first time you wrote. What wonderful memories you made. I'll be praying for you and your family.

The Sneaky Mommy said...

I'm so sorry, Wendi. Grandmas are special, special ladies! Praying that God will comfort your heart and keep cherished memories close.

Stacey said...

So nice to revisit this post!! You made such a nice tribute to grandma!! I am glad you did. she deserved it!

Rebecca said...

oh i'm so sorry about your grandma. your post is just beautiful and i'm so glad you were able to have that time with her!!

Mama Belle said...

I'm so sorry, Wendi. Praying for your and your family. Grandmas are very special people.

BARBIE said...

I am sorry for your loss. You have some amazing memories of your grandmother. She sounds like an amazingly, beautiful woman.

Amy@My Front Porch said...

Praying for you Wendi...it's been just a little over a year since I lost my Grandma. She passed away two days before we were supposed to visit -- how precious that you have that last visit with her to remember and cherish!

Rachelle said...

So sorry. I dread this day.