Thursday, September 30, 2010

 Worry (equals) my life (minus) God

This month I have been faced with several opportunities to exercise faith and face some fears and insecurities head on. Don't you just love those "opportunities"? Yeah, me neither.

Income changes.

The possibility of some of K's unique medical needs no longer being covered as they always have been.

A few more levels of "letting go" of my boys as they continue to grow in their independence.

A busier schedule, more time apart as a family.

Change in general just gets me. The unknown has always been a greater foe to me than the end result, even when the end result is not a positive scenario.

How my heart longs for peace in the midst of this tumultuous world that we live in; in the midst of these tumultuous emotions of my carnal flesh!

And oh how God is speaking so directly to that flesh and to my heart!

I am leading a study/discussion of this book for our church's mom's group. It is an incredible book and has already convicted the socks off of me.

One particular sentence keeps coming back to me, over and over.

"Regardless of the stress of our circumstances, this one thing is still true: worry looks at life without God in mind"

Wow. I mean - really, wow! It's one of those things that you kind of know in the back of your head. Worry is not an emotion that comes from a heart full of faith. In fact, let's just say it like it is: worry is not of God at all. Not one bit. But to see it on the page in black and white was like a {needed} slap in the face.

When I saturate myself in worry I am actually looking at my world as if God is not a part of it.

Sitting down to do the finances and feeling the tension rising: looking at my check book {actually Excel sheet, but y'know, same difference} as if God is not there.

Worrying about all the "new" my kids are facing and the fact that I am no longer with them every hour of each day:  looking at my children as if God is not with them each and every hour of each and every day.

Contemplating the changes our family will encounter as Dave starts school and our time together becomes very cramped: Looking at my marriage and family as if God did not ordain it, begin in, and will not nurture it in every way.

Stressing out over hours on the phone with insurance companies: Looking at the needs facing us as we care for K as if God doesn't know, isn't there, and didn't give us this miraculous task in the first place. {He did, oh he did! And if I could only remember that!!}

Worrying over what new things we will need to do/learn/acclimate to as we consider news of K's recent hearing loss: Looking at his health and his senses as if God did not loving create each one and is not actively involved and aware of the issues our K faces.

God is here, alive and well, and working in every situation of my life. For me to look at my life as if God isn't there is utterly disrespectful and fully unfaithful to the very one who created me for so much better.

I am encouraged and strengthened by His sweet whisperings to my soul and his powerful words. I will say, as young David said to the ever so feared giant, Goliath, "You come to me with a sword, and with a spear, and with a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will deliver you in to my hand... that all the earth will know that there is a God in Israel, and that all this assembly will know that the Lord saves, not with sword and spear. For the battle is the Lord's, and he will give you into our hand." 1 Samuel 17:45-47

If that isn't looking at the world {fears, unknowns, life situations that can be scary and intense} with a God sized view then I don't know what is. How awesome! When those fears and worries start creeping up on me I am going to stand firm in the knowledge that God's presence in my life changes everything. It just changes everything.

The battle is the Lords.

So thankful!


Amy@My Front Porch said...

From someone who has been going through a HUGE season of change right now...THANK YOU! I so needed the reminder.

Jenn said...

AMEN! This is absolutely true. We serve an awesome God!

Tad and Monica said...

Hi, sweet friend! How I wish I could be there with y'all this year. Just when we got settled, then came the upheaval again. We're right there with you with the readjusting. One would think it would be easier now...but new challenges pop up daily. Love you!

The Sneaky Mommy said...

So awesomely put! I love hearing our little boys recite their favorite verse which includes this phrase: Stand firm in the faith!
Have a great weekend!