Sunday, August 29, 2010

 Who he was

I wasn’t particularly close to him in a social/emotional context, but on our family tree we were quite close.

My dad’s brother.

He was young, in his early 60’s.

He shared so many physical traits with my dad – and always reminded me of him in some ways.

I got the call Tuesday morning that he was gone. 

I started making lists of things to pack.

Change the oil in the van.

Transfer a few funds.

Rearrange our schedule, change appointments, clear the calendar for the next 5 days.

It just felt – final, If not immediately emotionally taxing.

I wondered about my dad.

I hadn’t spoken to him yet, and I just wanted him to be okay.

I thought about my aunt and my other uncle – the three siblings remaining of the four. What does it feel like? How do you process this?

 I tasked, and prepared, and packed, and mothered.

The 500+ mile trip back home took all of my thoughts and energy.

It wasn’t until the funeral that I had much time to think at all.

And then I had tears because I didn’t know.

I knew a man who reminded me of my dad.

A man who I saw only every few years.  

California and Iowa aren't exactly neighboring states. 

He was funny.

Teased me alot. 

And then, in the past several years, I just knew of unfortunate choices.

Disheartening consequences.

But when I heard their memories, spoken in front of the steely gray box cascading with lilies, I cried because he was so much more than what I knew.

He introduced them to Jesus when he was a young man, passionate and zealous to show his family the way.

He helped start a church. 

He reached out to the unlovely. 

He was human. 

He was kind. 

He was strong and feeble. 

He was sharp and nearly genius. 

He began the momentum on my parent's reconciliation after their divorce, before I was born.

Years and miles separated us and I didn't think he had a lot to do with me; who I was. 

It ends up he had everything to do with me.  My Jesus, My parents, My life. 

He is at peace. Whole and completely fulfilled right now.

Someday I will be too.

And part of the reason I will be ultimately eternally at peace is because of who he was.


CRJFamily said...

Beautiful Wendi. I'm so sorry for your loss. And I love that God gives us these glimpses so that we don't miss other opportunities to love on people in our lives while we have the chance. I'll keep your family in my prayers through this tough time.

Mama Belle said...

Great tribute. Thanks for making us all think.

une autre mère said...

That was beautiful. It's so great to acknowledge those who helped you know Jesus - even if it wasn't directly.

Jenn said...

So sorry for your families loss. This is beauitifully written! said...

Just beautiful. Beautiful.