Friday, July 30, 2010

 Conversational blogging - just try to keep up

I'm getting hooked to vanilla wafers - and they must be Nabisco. No substitutes for this newest of delights. With ice cold milk? Yes please.

Next week is going to be constant. Maybe even a touch of insanity?  Yes - even more than usual.

Dave has softball tournaments Monday and Tuesday.

K has surgery (ear tubes...again) Tuesday morning. I think I may be losing count of his surgeries now. His ENT is concerned about what appears to be some fairly serious hearing loss in his left ear. Could be serious - or it could just be alot of wax build up. Okay, thankyouverymuch for making a mama crazy.

Wednesday I am taking K to his annual eye exam. We have been taking him to the best of the best pediatric eye clinic in several states (or so I've heard). It's an hour drive and usually about a 2 hour wait - totally worth it. Our insurance no longer covers them. We will be paying out of pocket this one last time and will definitely miss them!

Thursday is K's speech therapy.

Friday/Saturday is possibly camping and family reunion 2 hours away.

I love summer. Seriously - it is busy, but it is pretty packed with enchantments that one can not come by in the winter time.

We have new baby kittens and they are fluff balls of sweetness. The boys are in love.

K is still having "episodes" that are very seizure like, but have been formally diagnosed as migraines. His doctors can throw whatever diagnosis at him that they want to, but until they are cradling him in their lap trying to tell him everything is going to be okay and calming his trembling they can not understand. My gut feeling is telling me that we are missing something. Something isn't right. It just isn't.

I am consistently getting about 7 hours of consecutive sleep now. (Can I hear a hallelujah??)

Last night, while introducing myself to a group of ladies, I said I had five boys. I haven't done that in a long time. I then said "I mean I have four boys." And then I felt a little bit sad. I haven't felt that way in a long time. I know that I have five boys. I know that. But for practical purposes, I tend to tell acquaintances that I have four. It makes it a little easier. Less awkward. Less time consuming. And sometimes I feel like I am betraying him.

When Joshua died we were given a memorial plant. Something to put roots down. Something that will bloom every year and remind us of him. It's a Rose of Sharon plant and it is in full bloom right now. It is the most gorgeous and low maintenance plant I have ever seen. 

I'm utterly and irrevocably in love with my husband. He's very patient. He's incredibly forgiving.

I washed his phone a couple of weeks ago. I killed it. He was sad. He told me it was okay.

I missed a bill that was due last week. It almost doubled in overage charges. He called and told them we've never missed a bill before... we were on vacation... we were sorry... They removed the charges.

He lined up a babysitter for tonight. He asked me out. Like - on a real date. :) I'm a little giddy. Like a teenager. Only, I'm not a teenage and, in fact, am very rapidly approaching the end to my twenties. Some days I feel 19 still. I know, I know - very odd, but it is true. In February I will be 30.

My oldest sister is like a Betty Crocker. She has always been pretty domestic and creative. I keep thinking about the made-from-scratch blueberry pie and peach cobbler she made when we were in Iowa last month.

Yesterday I was not a good mama. I lost my patience alot. Too much. I really wished for a do-over day. I am so glad that we have new days for new beginnings and that His mercies are NEW every morning. Great is HIS faithfulness. I don't deserve it. It is great.

I recently finished a Bible study on Ruth. It was an in depth study of the kinsmen redeemer. It opened my eyes so much to things I had only thought I previously understood. I grew up in little Baptist churches where mostly hymns were sung. I would sing alot about being "Redeemed" - but it didn't mean a whole lot to me. Just another one of "those words". You know - Christianese. Through this study I was brought to tears as I realized what a big deal it is to be redeemed. And it is changing the way I live my life. Back in the culture of the Bible times a slave could be bought back from slavery by his closest relative. This freedom sometimes came at a great price. - How do you think that relative would feel if the slave would say "Thanks for paying that enormous price to make me free and all - but I'm pretty sure I want to live in slavery still. See ya, bye." No, not acceptable at all.

I don't think I lived worthy of the price yesterday.

Glad today is a new day.

Peace out.


Rachel said...

Hi Wendi - so touched by your post. It is good to know about the real stuff of life. I will be praying for K and his migraines...I cannot imagine the pain it must bring to your heart to not be able to fix it for him. Praying that God will help the doctors figure out what they're missing. I hope your insane week goes okay!

{Jodie} said...

I totally kept up, and my heart broke a little for you several times. Your life is quite the testimony and I just wish I could sit across the table from you, so we could visit. Someday. Even if it's in heaven... we will do that. :)

Amanda said...

love you so much friend. love your heart. love your heart. when i read this porch i felt like i was sitting on a big old front porch with in hand...hearing you pour out your heart. the only thing that would make it any better would be hearing your voice. praying for all that is going on with K...his ears, his migraine/seizures/mama's gut instinct. praying for lots of joy and patience and overflowing abundant life in the midst of your business. (and would it be trivial to pray for winning games in the tourney...cause i am!)

Kristin said...

I totally heard you say that you had 5 boys, and I did not think it was weird at all, because you do, you very much have 5 boys. I have to admit though, I didn't want to look at you after that....I was wondering if what you said took you by surprise, if it was typical response, and how I should respond. Oh Wendi, I love your honesty, I love your passionate love for your family, and I love your ability to put words to your life.

I can comment on so much......This post, was so so so....good? honest? real life? encouraging?

See you Thursday hot mamma.

Stacey said...

Love your picture! Sad for your trials and knowing that you do stand tall and that you are an inspiration!

Sara said...

Stunning and thoughtful as usual girl. I think it is wonderful that you have five boys. It is the truth. Is it easier for YOU or for THEM to say four? Just curious.

Mama Belle said...

Um ... have I told you how much I just love you lately? I really do.

Barbie said...

Thank you for sharing your heart so honestly and opening. Have you ever tried Vanilla Wafers with Peanut Butter? So good. I am praying for K and all that he is going through. My heart hurts for all of that. The Rose of Sharon is absolutely beautiful. And your hubby really knows how to love you. And oh yes, you absolutely have 5 boys! You are such a testimony of faith and grace!

Katarina said...

Praying for you and your little bit *crazy* week! Praising God with you that His mercies truly are new every morning, oh for the grace that He constantly pours into our lives! May you feel that grace every moment of every day, even the days where you wish for a do over. Been there (a lot!).
Sometimes I wish we could meet in real life, sit and chat over coffee while ours kids run crazy in the yard.
Praying for K as he goes in for surgery, that everythign will go smoothly for him.