There may be a phrase in this post that makes you want to wash your eyes after they see it...

Can you be run down, exhausted, battling frustration and love your life all at the same time?? I'm going on the record as saying a big fat Yes! I have a cold. The "I'm not really sick, no fever- therefore I don't get to stay in bed, but kinda miserable enough to want to cut my head off" kind of head cold. I'm tired. I'm tired of potty training regression. An almost three year old who SO knows better and still insists on going to the bathroom IN THE FRONT PORCH. -Even when it takes longer to walk to the front porch than the bathroom. HELLO little buddy - MOMMY DOESN'T HAVE THE PATIENCE FOR THIS RIGHT NOW!! So, I am doing what any, at the end of her rope sane, mild mannered, patient mommy would do. Putting him back in diapers. Okay, just don't judge. I loathe cleaning poop out of underwear. Until he is really really ready, we just aren't doing this anymore. I have so many goals each day that do not get met. And that has been hard for me. But how can I get the floors vacuumed and mopped, the shopping done, professional looking cookies baked and decorated (hahahaha!), when I am cleaning all matter of grossness from my body, their bodies, and the floor? Sometimes it's when they don't make it to the bathroom, sometimes it's when I forget to grab a burp cloth - but so often in my day I am cleaning up, mopping up, scrubbing... stuff (and I really am trying to avoid using the phrase "cleaning poop out of underwear" again, because I know when you read that phrase in the previous paragraph you grimaced and wished you had never read that). And here is what is hard to understand: I absolutely love my life! I am crazy about these boys. I would clean up all sorts of nasty for the rest of my life if it meant I could be close to them, be the one who gets the home made ornaments, be the receiver of little boy hugs and sloppy kisses, be their mommy! On days when I feel the need to throw something or yell really really loud (wow, that would feel good!) I just need to reflect on how much I love this. How I chose this and would choose it all over again. How many people would give any thing for this -(well, minus the bodily function in the article of clothing...). How privileged I am. Welcome to my contradictory life. Thank you for being a part of this segment of time where I am reminding myself how much I love it. I'll check back later. I have some laundry to tend to... you know, those things with that stuff in them.