Sunday, October 18, 2009

 Processing, stretching, and beauty

I feel like I am still processing so much - so much that has gone on this past week. The emotions were crazy. The original excitement, and then frustration, decisions, worry, stress, wondering, hoping praying, and then knowing. Knowing K was okay. Knowing that Malachi's lungs were developed enough for the outside world. Knowing that Dave would be there for his birth. And then finally knowing that Malachi was really on his way. And here we are. Starting on our new normal. Wow. A family of six. Stretching, growing, learning. Stretching. That word seems so appropriate right now. Our hearts have stretched to love four little boys beyond anything we ever thought was possible. Our lives have stretched as we incorporate a new little one and try to learn the best way to do all of this. My mind and body have been stretched as I learn to try to function on virtually no sleep. Managing recovery, added to getting nursing established, lack of sleep, and post postpartum hormones has been a stretch. I have cried when I held him and marveled at his perfection. I have cried when I've thought about all I want to do to care for the other boys and my household - and just can't do much more than nurse, drink, eat, and sleep right now. Such happy tears, and some times overwhelmed tears - even awe inspired tears. This stretching involves so much beauty. Breathless wonder. And let me tell you it can be painful to stretch too. God is so good. We are so thankful. We are thankful for this precious new life. We are thankful for all of the little adjustments that are taking place. We are thankful for grandparents who drove 9 hours to spend the weekend loving on little boys who have alot to process right now too. We are thankful for a church family that embraces and takes care of us. We are thankful for friends and family who rejoice with us and love on us. This has been an incredible week, and even though I am into that stage that can only be described as a "fog" - I am so very aware of the blessings being poured in to our lives right now. And oh my - Malachi is so beyond precious. - Even at 2 am when he decides to scream for a couple of hours. Even then. :)

13 comments:

Amy@My Front Porch said...

I so remember those days of no sleep, hormones and mixed emotions -- joy, exhaustion, contentment while holding your baby and frustration when thinking of all you "need" to do that you don't have time or energy for! I'm still praying for you! You are right, Malachi is so precious!!

BaronessBlack said...

VERY impressed you found the time to blog! Thanks for taking the time to let us know how you're doing.
Now- back to your babymoon!

Mama Belle said...

Look at that hair! He is really precious.

You sound like you're doing just fine, Mama. How blessed you really are with this wonderful family God has given you!

So happy for you.

Wish I could come over and hold him.

creative gal said...

Beautiful!!

Rachel said...

Okay first of all let me say that he is just absolutely GORGEOUS! Love the hair - so precious! He is so little!!!!

I have been thinking about you as your family and your life have changed so much this week. I have found it overwhelming taking care of ONE baby...I can't imagine caring for this little guy and then also three others!!! I too am learning these stretching lessons...I will be praying for you especially over these next weeks as you guys adjust to a new normal...and I'll pray that you are able to get some sleep, too!

Noah and Ryders Mommy said...

Wendi, I could not be more happy and overwhelmed with joy for you right now!! Wishing you lots of rest, and many smiles as you take on your new normal!! Give that sweet little guy a big snuggle for me, those pictures make anticipation even more so as I look forward to meeting ours next Spring :D
xo

Katarina said...

Praising God that your family is doing well. What beautiful pictures of a beauitful new baby!
May the stretching that your family is going through be stretching in all good ways as you adjust to life.

Katie@The Baby Factory said...

beautiful. so happy for you.
as I'm typing this, listening to 'I'm finding myself at a loss for words, and the funny thing, it's okay'...

That about sums it up. Praying for you in your transition!

Sara said...

These are the days that it is the absolute hardest. Wishing I lived closer and could stop by with a hot meal, a warm hug, and a quick peek!:)
Praying that you are getting the rest you need and that things will find rythymn very soon.

Heather said...

What an adorable little boy. I know you are cherishing each moment.

Lisa said...

Congrats Wendi - he is amazing!!! I have been thinking of you constantly, missing you, and wondering if you were holding that sweet boy yet....

sending you all my love...

Anne Elizabeth said...

Oh Wendi he is so beautiful! I'm thinking about you a lot and praying for your each day.

Chelle said...

Oh Wendi, he is just exquisite. Overjoyed for you. And so praying for you. I cannot even imagine how overwhelming ( both good + hard ) life must be for you right now. You are such an incredible + beautiful Mama. Praying for grace to carry you through these busy + sleepless days with your boys.
And kiss those sweet cheeks from me,would you?