Monday, June 22, 2009


Today I looked at you and I saw a boy. Not a baby, not a toddler, but a boy. Suddenly looking so much like your brother Jay that I had to look twice. And a lump rose into my throat. I remembered how you sweetened my life when you entered it. I remembered expecting another colicky baby, and endless sleepless nights. I remembered how you surprised me with the beauty of being an efficient eater. How mellow you were. How you began to sleep through the night way before I expected it. How attached I became to you so immediately. How crazy I thought other people would think of me if they I knew that sometimes I woke you from naps. Just to cuddle you and hear you coo. And here you are - Carrying on "veery veery important" conversations with me. Defying me. Copying your older brothers constantly. And yet figuring out who you are. Where you belong. Your individuality. You know that you are no longer the baby in this family. You talk to your baby brother through my belly button. You think if you get your eye right up next to my belly button you will be able to see him. It doesn't matter how many times I tell you it doesn't work that way. You still come up to me, lift my shirt up, and say, "I think I can see the baby mom!" Noe, you have so many wonderful qualities. Already showing up. Your excitement over life makes me grin. The way you start to run your words together and your volume goes up, up, up When you are telling me what you loved about your day Or what you will love about tomorrow Or what you will do when daddy gets home. I was so pleased the other day when you looked up at me with those insanely blue eyes framed but the most delicious lashes You said,"Mommy loves me veery, veery much. Daddy does too. Alot!" Just to know that we have imparted this truth to you warms my heart. You are secure in our love And that is an accomplishment I take seriously. I love your curiosity. It seems like every time I get up to do something, you must know what excitement is about to take place. "Watcha gonna Mom? Watcha gonna?" Is your new phrase full of cuteness. Most people tend to guess you are three already. Because you are quite a solid boy. And you talk every one's ear off. I'm thinking you may have gotten mommy's love for words. The last conversation I had with you went something like this, "Tomowow we will go bikeen again. And we will ride and ride and ride. Then we we will thwow rocks into the water. Again. Yeah. And I wan to bring my juice with me and it will be fun. And it will make me silly. Yeah. I will be silly." This morning you were looking all over for your blanket, which is still a very close and inseparable friend. When you finally found it, you buried your head into the fleecy softness and said, "Oh mom it's so cute!" Really, I'm thinking you are! You are starting to recognize, and try to name your emotions. It's amazing for me to see this at the age of two, even though you don't quite know the correct labels for how you feel quite yet. After watching some fireworks last week you got a little bit scared of the noise. Your little heart was pounding in your chest. You said, "Mom, that made me crazy!" I replied, "Do you mean that made you scared?" "Yeah, scared. That made me scared. And crazy!" You are usually either "silly" or "crazy". And those two words can mean, happy, excited, nervous, scared, or mad. Lots of cuteness going on. Also lots of "two-ness". Wow, do you need your sleep. If you don't get lots of it, you are grumpy. Like whine-endlessly-for-no-apparent-reason grumpy. Not a nice sound. There is also an awful lot of "why?" going on when you are in the room. Daddy and I are trying to teach you that obedience is of utmost importance. And sometimes you won't know why. Most of the time we try to explain every thing we can; To this wonderful mind, so eager to learn. But some times one "why" too many, can just about push this mommy to say the dreaded words I never wanted to... "Cause I'm the mom!! That's WHY!" Today you are two and a half. Keep believing in how loved you are. Ours is true and deep. But there is a love even deeper. And I am excited to watch as you learn of that love a little more every day!


Lindsay said...

Love this post ... I'm thinking that I need to do something similar for my boys!

You are a GREAT mama ... thanks for the inspiration to be extraordinary in everything!

austins mom said...

What a great post! I am so happy to see a God loving mommy sharing that passion with her children! btw congrats on your upcoming addition! We had a hard journey to get our youngest. God works in amazing, and sometimes mysterious ways!

Rachel @ Unexpected Blessings said...

Crazy to see how our babies are growing up. Can't belive my baby is 5. Thanks for sharing the joys of 2 1/2.

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Little Candle said...

Gosh I could relate to much of what you were sharing, having a nearly 2.5 year old myself...thank you for taking the time to put it all down. Hugs!

MoziEsmé said...

They grow up so fast, huh?