The freedom to be imperfect

I'm not sure when it started because it's been a part of me for as long as I can remember. It has paralyzed me, rendered me ineffective, and robbed me of exciting experiences and relationships. It is the fear of trying something new. The unknown. What if I fail? Worse yet, what if I fail and some one observes this failure? What will they think? What kind of a reputation will I have? What if people find out that *gasp* I'm imperfect? I know, I know - that is where it got laughable. There should be no fear in something that is already obvious! :) We are all imperfect, and any one who has spent any amount of time with me knows that I can most definitely be included in that statement. Why is it so scary to be normal? Imperfect. I don't know all of the reasons, but I know that pride is at the root of so much of that fear. I have experienced alot of promptings in the past couple of years to leave some security blankets of comfort behind. To reach into the unknown and hold tightly to the hand of one who has promised to never let me go. Status: It is still a frequent struggle to have the faith needed to lay aside security, control, comfort, and the desire to have every one like me (stop laughing! - some of us take an unreasonable amount of time to learn things others get in elementary school)... and delve into the unfamiliar. I might fall on my face. I might realize I need to learn some stuff before I continue. I might encounter some people who just plain don't like me. Some one might see me with out make up. And that's okay. This is a very foreign train of thought for me. I am as insecure as the winter is long. But can I just tell you how amazing it is to allow God to urge me onto paths that show me how big He is and how capable I am through Him? This year I am going to:

Finally become comfortable driving a stick shift vehicle, and allow Dave to help with that Speak my mind when feeling the conviction of prompting, and not apologize for it Give myself more completely to the women I counsel at the crisis pregnancy center. Speak God's truth into their lives at all costs Work with teenagers at church Admit to my weaknesses and seek help where I need it Sew a dress Start writing a book Go deeper into God's Word Learn to play some sports (seriously, I so rarely have played any kind of sports that I'm pathetically freaked when I'm asked to join a game) Pursue some vocal training Sing alot Dance like crazy Be more consistent in my parenting Hug people often Eat sushi

Raise my hands during worship (oh yeah, my Baptist friends, you heard me - raise my hands!) Take all three boys out more (I can handle it, I can handle it...)

Have people over more

Give more

Read some classics

Be an encouraging cheer leader in Dave's journey through imperfection

Take some photagraphy classes

Spend time at a homeless shelter

Learn more about politics

Call people when they come to my mind

Let myself fail... and even look stupid

And so much more...so, so much more.