Monday, April 28, 2008

 Made adequate through Him

"I lift up my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." Psalm 121: 1&2

"It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees. The law from your mouth is more precious to me than thousands of pieces of silver and gold." Psalm 119:71&72

God, my shepherd! I don't need a thing. You have bedded me down in lush meadows, you find me quiet pools to drink from. true to your word, you let me catch my breath and send me in the right direction. You revive my drooping head; my cup brims with blessing. Your beauty and love chase after me every day of my life. I'm back home in the house of God." Psalm 23 1-3, 5 & 6

And He said: It's not about you Wendi. Your life isn't about what you can and can't do, how you feel, what others say about you, how they perceive you, or even how you perceive yourself. It's about how much of me they can see through you. Move your focus upward.

And He, again, was the farthest thing from condemning you could imagine. And He really understood, like got where I was at. He knew I would be there. He knew it was okay to be there. He used my being there to show me some really important things that I would not have learned had I not been there. And then He invited me to move on from there. He brought me into a group of people who love Him. He provided songs with complimentary music that reached into my soul and filled me up. One of those songs spoke of "The King of all sufficiency, The King of all of me." He whispered to my heart that He is my Heavenly Father. All I need. - That He will never leave me. He gave me all of you. He used your words to touch me deeply.

Finding the sufficiency in who he has made me to be. Moving my focus upward rather than outward. Loving the companionship of knowing I'm not the only one who struggles with inadequacy. The lessons I learned over the weekend are not a done deal. It is a process, but I am that much further in the process. :)

So thankful for my friends... Amazing...really truly humbled and amazed.

So thankful for my family. Nobody could stay down for too long when this group of handsome guys loves them, nurtures them, needs them, and has numerous hugs and cuddles for them daily. :)

So, here I am people. Authenticity is not an easy thing, but I've been able to share some of the realness that invades my daily life. Balancing on that tight rope that is striving for betterment and yet being comfortable in who I am.
Make up completely wore off and hair messed up from nap (Oh how I needed that nap!), here is someone who is learning more each day about what it means to be real. :)

5 comments:

Sarah said...

...here's to keeping our eyes upward, on Him, great post Wendi.

Kari Dawson said...

"And He, again, was the farthest thing from condemning you could imagine. And He really understood, like got where I was at. He knew I would be there. He knew it was okay to be there. He used my being there to show me some really important things that I would not have learned had I not been there. And then He invited me to move on from there. He brought me into a group of people who love Him."

That is exactly where I found myself in the midst of cleaning my basement last week when I found a brand new toilet seat in a bag from the people who lived here previously. Doesn't make sense to you now but it will when I blog about it. It is as though God said the same thing to me; "I knew you'd be here, I knew you'd need this." It sounds funny to think God knew I needed a toilet seat, I know but that small toilet seat plays such a bigger role in the story of my life right now and this house.

I knew I'd post about this but didn't know the timing and well, now I've got the timing too.

I love that pic of you above; you're beautiful! I'll be back!

Thank God for Leslie whom he uses to bring strangers together with one common thread.

I'll be back...

Sarah M. said...

Your smile is radiant! It was such an encouragement to me to see you so settled. I love you!

mamachristina said...

Wendi, you inspire me, I always look forward to reading your post. I feel challenged in a good way to become better and that what matters most isn't superficial and of the world.

Elizabeth...mommy...etc said...

great photo. :-) always a winning smile amidst any challenge. keep at it, wendi...you're blog one that I secretly envy...oh, did i just say that outloud. :-) you have a great sense of self when you write that is not easy to come by...not even in the blogging world. for me...i know that fiction is my forte even though i enjoy blogging a lot. :-) keep posting and writing...we're enjoying it, learning, and being challenged with the same issues. :-) *elizabeth