Sunday, March 9, 2008

 Moving towards oneness by CELEBRATING twoness

This weekend I got the privilege of spending 24 hours focusing on my husband and marriage. We left our children and daily responsibilities at 5 pm Friday night (Immeasurable thanks to mom!!). We went to a couples retreat along with 7 other couples from our church. Besides every one being sick for so long and the stresses of that, our lives have gotten so busy. Unfortunately it becomes all too easy for Dave and I to lose sight of "us" as we juggle all of the responsibilities that have become our life. It has been our desire from the beginning of our relationship to always make our marriage a high priority. A priority even above the kids. It is rather cliche, but so true, that the best thing you can give your kids is a great relationship between you and your spouse. Our kids see us have disagreements and they know we are Far from perfect (Like seriously really beyond far...), but they know that we genuinely like each other look forward to and value our time together as a couple. That being said, our life together has thrown us a few unexpected curves. With the responsibilities we face raising a child with cerebral palsy added to normal life (This pretty much goes with out saying, but let me just add that the responsibilities we face with K are also some of the greatest blessings we have ever known) work, home, church, and family, we are discovering that it is going to take extra work to maintain the kind of relationship we want. We don't want to settle. We don't want ordinary when we know that God designed us for amazing. Waking up yesterday morning in a lovely corner room in our hotel was a sweet experience. I realized that I didn't have 100 things I had to do at once. In fact, there really wasn't any thing I had to do right when I woke up. Just waking up naturally instead of being awakened by an alarm or "Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama!" I have to say, was kind of nice. Things I am treasuring in my heart from the weekend and committing to put into practice in my marriage: 1) Discovering who Dave really is. Treasuring that. Not trying to change that. Nurturing that in him. Celebrating who God created him to be. 2)Praying for Dave more. 3)Realizing that different is not bad. Different is an opportunity to experience a richness in life that I never would've known if I were alone or with some one just like me (way scary thought of the day). 4)Not holding things against Dave. I am no longer going to define him by things he has done that have disappointed me in the past. 5)Communicating clearly rather than expecting Dave to just know. Playing games is so manipulative...not that I would know, I'm just saying those people who do that must be manipulating or something. Despicable! My mind is still swimming with information and wonderful advice. There is so much more that we learned, but this gives a little peak into the things that really spoke to us. Other silly highlights of our time away include: 1)Mr. H saving the day with his blackberry as we went on a pizza quest 2)Watching the discovery channel and~ a. learning how the safety of nascar has evolved in the past several years b. learning about several different chainsaws. How they work, how they were made, and how totally cool they are. c. being okay with watching a&b d. secretly kind of enjoying the fast cars and powerful saws 3)Not getting to bed until 1am (Yes people! This from the old fogies who go to bed at 8:30 most nights) 4) Laughing till I thought I could possibly fall out of my chair as we talked about the differences between men and women. We may never truly understand eachother, but dern it we can sure make the best out of!

No comments: