Thursday, February 25, 2016

 Dear Jay - the night before the big 11

Dear Jay,

I just tucked you into bed - a ten year old.  Tomorrow we greet an eleven year old.

You are wise, you are fun - and still so full throttle.  From day one...

You ushered me into these new things.

Some of them were really, really hard.  You were hard.  And I remember that dichotomy of emotion... How could someone so soft... be so hard?

You are my precious Jay.  I love you so much - sometimes it feels like a physical ache.

The memories of the last 11 years...

Oh man.  What a huge blessing you are.  I can't imagine - don't even want to imagine - what my life would look like without you in it.

 Buddy, I hope you see it - what I see, what your daddy sees.
 This boy who has become a pillar in our family.  You have become so mature, so responsible, so helpful this past year!

You are unique and energetic.  Your role with your older brother has transitioned to something you truly embraced.

That chokes me up.  It warms me from the inside.  That ^^ That is God in you, buddy.  We have seen identity struggles in you, we have seen a kick back, obstinance, stubbornness, and then - this year - a slow surrender.  A subtle shift.  An accepting; embracing.  And Wow.  So much came with that.

You do Big Things to my heart. -Always have. ;)

Your sparkling eyes can shoot arrows or captivate.  You posses so much talent, so much fire, so much potential - it nearly takes my breath away.

We've got this connection - honestly it's one I never could've dreamed!  But here we are.

When I was just becoming a mom I felt that pre teen boys were foreign to me and I would basically screw that stage of my life all up.  It scared me a little, because I had no interest in parenting that stage.  It seemed awkward.

No one told me it was heart melting, beautiful, rewarding, and eye opening.  Is it hard? Yes. {duh}

But it's my favorite.  :) You have never been more dear to me.

Happy 11.  Thank you for changing my world.  You make it better every day.


No comments: