{through the window}

I was scrolling through some photos I took today. From the library. Because doesn't everyone take photos in the library?

The boys were having an outstanding time enjoying the wonder of books and games and fun space that isn't home. So naturally, I just had some play time of my own. A library really does make a creative backdrop for photos. I tried different angles and perspectives. Good stuff.

When I came across this picture of my K, it made me pause.

Because I feel like this alot. Do you get me?

Looking through a window.

I want to know you. I want to know what goes on in your head. So much of *you* is still foreign to me.

I would never assume that by knowing one child I would know all of my children, but there are certain patterns that three of mine follow.....

Not you.

And that's ok.

But just to get more of a glimpse into what makes you tick.
What powers you.
How you learn.
What energizes you.
How to help you be more independent.
How to teach you boundaries, limits, socially acceptable vs.... not. {Not that we are overly hung up on "social correct-ness" - but there are certain behaviors that are innate to some... and some need to be taught}
How you hear love, how you feel love.

Instead of just a window.

Oh, but how thankful I am for that window! Because you have found your voice, and your opinions do fly. The window is good and the window is a 100% God thing.

I'll take the window. A million times over, I'll take seeing you through glass over not seeing you at all.

Sometimes I feel like the window opens a crack, and I just relish the moments.

Like last night when we were laughing together, so hard. My eleven year old was teasing me and neither one of us could cork the fountain of joy spilling over as laughter. We were on the couch together, way past our bedtime, having the tickle fest of the century, and you threw your arms around my neck, looked me in the eye (even this... what an extravagant gift. He looked me in the eye... ), and said, "I love you better than peanut butter".

So, yeah. That's the big time. This kid loves me.

Those times are precious. And I do know how to make you laugh. Even better? You know how to make me laugh. And it still can take me by surprise. That sense of humor that is so real and so you and so hilarious.

 It kind of takes the edge off of the lack of filter you demonstrate when things don't go your way. Like a two year old fit coming from an ever growing adolescent body. *shudder* Not cool. So not cool.

I know the window is my grace from God. I have seen the statistics, I have heard the stories.... I'm humbly aware of the beauty in our window.