Tuesday, November 15, 2011

 30 Days of Thankfulness; Day 15 {Thankful for my Jay}

Today: I snuck him out of first grade just a wee bit early.

I wondered if he would remember - we had plans.

But didn't have to wonder for long, because I saw this wavy blond mop of hair as he peaked out, tippy toed, above his classmates to spot me.

"Mom, this is fun!" I heard it alot this afternoon. And I am thankful.

First stop was ice cream. Chatting. Letting him pick where we would sit {outside, of course!}  and which way the conversation was steered.

I am thankful for one on one time with my boys. I have big plans of making this a very regular thing with each of them!

Oh this boy.  This ice cream on his face, never a dull moment, full of life little man. He makes my heart melt. 

It's an interesting thing to experience the different kinds of love for each little one God has brought into our family. Certainly not more or less love, but yes, different styles, different flavors, if you will.

My love for K is protective and soft. Nurturing. As if I posses a miracle and must treasure it deep in my heart.

My love for Noe is giggly and sweet. Quiet and consuming. He has always been a comforter; compliant and naturally affectionate.

My love for Kai is this mommy/baby I-want-to-chew-on-your-chubby-cheeks-and -get-a-euphoric-high-from-inhaling-your-head kind of love. So deep. So connecting and entwined multiple times around my heart.

But Jay.... My love for him is kind of fierce. Fierce like a fire in my heart. Like he can push my buttons more than anyone else...

He is very similar to me in many ways. And I think this colors the style of love I have for him. Oh boy do we butt heads sometimes.... what a love, what a heart wrenching, rollercoaster, big love. 

It started in the womb. I was 5 weeks prego when I found out. There was elation and fear {alot}.

And then he came and he wasn't what I expected. I can only imagine I wasn't what he expected either.

He would cry. I would cry. He would cry. I would cry.

I would paste a smile on my face. I would meet his needs. But when people would leave, or the lights would go out. I cried. And cried. And cried...

The only time he didn't cry was when he was nursing or sleeping.

And I Loved that little blond headed boy with every fiber of my being. It was a  Love born out of this desperate collision of reality, motherlove, extreme lack of sleep, post partum hormones gone crazy,and a huge helping of God's infinite grace.

And that is how it became fierce.

And then one day that yowling, red, tense, little bundle of baby boy looked up in my eyes with his big blue ones, and he smiled.

And something happened; I started liking him.

My Jay. My chubber-boo. My Jay-kee-poo.  My Bay-Jay. Yep. I'm thankful for him.

 Fierce love is good.

We had a lovely afternoon!

Ice cream, great talks, and hair trims at my salon.

What could be better?!

Seriously, this was his first haircut not done by me or Dave. :)

It's still long. He instructed her specifically how he wanted it. And keeping it long was part of his instructions. But, it is trimmed up and he is oh-so-handsome-as-ever.

Today: beyond thankful for our third born, seemingly second born, who has taken over many first born characteristics in our fam.

{love my Jay}

1 comment:

Rachel @ Unexpected Blessings said...

Hope saw the pictures and said in a forlorn voice... "I miss Jay." Christmas break we must get them together. So glad our kids are friends too. Love you dear friend. :)