Beyond the manger

So much flurry around (in a figurative and literal sense).

I feel like an hour after the leftover turkey and trimmings were put into the refrigerator we were thrust into the "Christmas" season.

Four days after Thanksgiving was our kindergarten Christmas program. Christmas parties and events are soon to ensue. And I love them. I really, really do. I have always loved the festive atmosphere of Christmas time.

But this year... I don't know. My heart is burdened.

There were years,during my childhood, when I didn't understand why we always went away to a cabin at Christmas time. Just our family, away from the hustle and bustle of Christmas. Some of my favorite memories were during those simple family vacations, but I have to say, as I got older, there were times I missed  having the Christmas that my friends talked about.

And I just didn't get it. What were my parents doing? Why were we so different?

I think I get it now.

There's this tug at my heart. I want my boys to see past everything that is in their faces right now.


Dear K, Jay, Noe, and Kai,

How can I counteract the culture that is telling you this is the time that you can ask for {and get} everything your little hearts ever desired? Yes, we will present you with small gift. It is fun to look forward to something and to watch your faces light up with joy. It is good to teach you about giving as well as the joy of receiving.

But this season, this busy, crazy season, has become so meaningful to your mama. It isn't just because "it is more blessed to give than receive" and it isn't just because "it is the season of giving" and it is so much more than "about baby Jesus". 


I know you are all very young right now, but I pray, oh how I pray, that you will even go beyond those cliches of giving, however good they may be.


It is more than that.

Yes, we must desire to give. Yes, it is all about Jesus. But it is so beyond baby Jesus in a little manger.

It is about God becoming a man. Really try to feel that. God - who created everything, everything, entering our humanness. It's about crushing pain and feeling things so far below God status.


Oh please, please get this. 


There is an untidy side of Christmas. Get it.



His Life … Our Sins
Who is it we are
And how can it be?
He became a mere man
Next of kin, to redeem

What is this season
If not glitter and gold?
The dance of indulgence
Keeping up, getting more

Stop and be still
For a moment face silence
Enough is enough
Apathetic self-biased

Is it all sweet and pretty
Tied neat in a bow?
Sugar coating so thick
We can’t find the core

Enter the significance
Reach out, feel the ache
Shocking, cold humanity
Dreadful, dark, seeping pain,

Can you look at the ugly?
Search out the true reasons
Far surpassing the pageantry
That colors our season

A contradiction at birth
Creator resembling created
Pure, sinless, supreme
Tasting all that is tainted

Soon shrouded in sins
Of the most dreadful selection
Wrapping His innocence
In our own grave repulsion

Open wide your hands
Drop your fists full of greed
Look deep in your heart
Fall to your knees

Draped in perfection
Gone is your blame
He took it from you
Must you still grasp at stains?

This was his plan
His life for your sins
Born to complete
The most unbalanced exchange
Wendi - November, 2010