Monday, September 21, 2009

 Oh the things we will say...

When you stop and think about some of the words that have come out of your mouth since you have become a parent does it ever surprise you? Things that maybe, just maybe, if you were not a parent would NOT be uttered from your lips? Things like: "When you touch a pig you ALWAYS must wash your hands!" "No we can not buy an airplane/jet/hot air balloon/blimp. Because they cost alot of money. No we don't. I know you found a penny, but it would take many more pennies than that. Yes, it is great that you have a penny jar with lots of pennies. Still not enough." "You may not wear my high heels up the stairs. Because they are too big, and it's not safe. "No you may not have my earrings/lipstick/mascara. Because they are mommy's, and these things are for girls. I know they are pretty. Not right now. Maybe when you are older - like 18 or twenty, if you really still want to." "Sweetie, my dress is too big for you. I know it's pretty. Well... because God made you a boy..." "No, boys don't have babies in their bellies. Because they wouldn't be able to handle it that's not the way he designed it." "Nope, there is no milk in your chest." "It's not polite to ask people if there is a baby in their tummy. I know she was big, but just because some one is big does not mean there is a baby in their belly. Yes she did look a little upset didn't she?" "No, mama can not go pee pee outside. Because God made me a girl. No, I do not have one of those." "Because frogs live outside. They need to be able to find bugs to eat. I know we have some bugs in the house - they still need to be outside." "Do not chew on the cart handle/church pew/toilet seat. Because there are lots of germs on there! And it is very gross. I know you love gross. You could get sick and mommy wants you to stay healthy!" "Because God made the sky blue. Isn't it pretty? I don't know why it isn't orange and purple polka-dotted." "Because too much sugar will give you a tummy ache. Yes it will. No, marshmallows and M&M's with milk on them is NOT breakfast cereal." "Because you need to be responsible for your toys. Then you will not get any new toys and we will have to give alot of your old ones away. No, it is NOT my job to put them away. You are NOT too tired to put blocks into a basket! You may NOT swing outside - you just said you were too tired to move three inches and pick up twenty blocks! THEN I AM GOING TO THROW THEM ALL INTO THE TRASH!" "Because it is not appropriate to stand in the window with no clothes on when the bus drives up. I know you love to be naked. I know it's super comfy. It's just not appropriate." "I DON'T KNOW!" "BECAUSE I SAID SO." "BECAUSE I WANT PRIVACY WHEN I TAKE A SHOWER/GET DRESSED/GO TO THE BATHROOM." "PLEASE BE QUIET, FOR JUST ONE MINUTE PLEASE, PLEASE BE QUIET!" Ah, the life of a mommy.... And yes, this post was inspired by MckMama. :)

11 comments:

Lois Lane II said...

HAHA! Oh my gosh, I was reading this out loud to my husband. Hilarious!

Sara said...

Wendy, my goodness your comment about boys and babies in their bellies! LAUGH OUT LOUD funny!
I saw relate to this. My boy caught me in the bathroom at that time of the month and started asking why was I bleeding in the butt and was that a band-aid for my butt...GOOD GRIEF I need privacy and new door locks!!!

Rachel @ Future Pastor's Wife said...

So, so funny! :)

Heather said...

I am laughing so hard at this list! I've said a lot of these things myself!

Katie@The Baby Factory said...

These are hilarious...soo soo funny.
Like a little window into my future :)

Cottage Mommy said...

I love this and so so relate!

Anne Elizabeth said...

This post had me laughing so hard! I can so relate too!

Katarina said...

lol, needed that laugh right now, thanks.
But marshmellows and m&m's with milk MIGHT make a really good breakfast (it sounds really yummy, and I might...might be tempted to try it!)
Hope your week is filled with joy.

Rachel @ Unexpected Blessings said...

Great stuff! One of my favorites I have said was, "Don't hit the cat with a banana!"

dani said...

soooo funny and soooooooo true, wendi:P and i think we should do away with pennies and always round DOWN on the nickle:)
much love,
dani xxxxx

This Heavenly Life said...

These are SO funny! I've often thought of doing a post like this myself...I'm sure it would look alot like yours, but insert girly things in the boyly places!

I wandered over here from Katie @ The Baby Factory's award to you - she's right; you're a superior scribbler :)