In which I realize that my kid has qualities of an average 6 year old *gasp*

Why is it so hard sometimes to accept that our kids will be kids? Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's our unique circumstances. But I realized (a little bit more) last week that my expectations for myself and my family are just a slight bit ridiculous. I'm specifically thinking of K and a little trouble that popped up at school last Thursday. K was born with a fighting spirit that kept him going through months of the NICU, 8 surgeries, and more poking and prodding than most of us will go through in a life time. When he was a tiny baby I wondered how that might affect his personality. Would it make him fussy, insecure, difficult? Ends up none of the above - in the beginning any way. As an infant and toddler he had such a sweet, and extremely laid back disposition. The physical therapists that began working with him at 6 months of age were even a little bit concerned that he was too laid back. They wanted to see more of that fighting spirit. I'll never forget the first time he threw a fit, He was some where between 18 months and 2 years of age and he wanted a toy out of his reach. His PT was here and she was over joyed. She kept saying how wonderful it was that he was reaching this milestone! I had to laugh that it was this big exciting thing he was throwing a fit... Still, even though he had acquired the skill of fit throwing his mellow personality continued to be prominent. And then there was the time when K's shunt malfunctioned a couple of years ago. I hear that isn't the most comfortable feeling in the world. Lots of pressure builds up in the brain and causes a pretty hefty headache. As he lay on the couch, holding his head and wincing I asked him how he was feeling. In a weak little voice he said, "I'm good". He was NOT good. He was having brain surgery a few hours later. That is not the good kind of mellow and laid back. After that we began to really work with him on being an advocate for himself. It took a while, but he began to get the concept of saying "no" to things he didn't want and being honest when he didn't feel well. And then I started wondering why I ever taught my child to say no... :) We had gotten so used our easy going little guy who pretty much did whatever was expected and rarely complained. Enter year 6. Oh my. Mellow? Laid back? Easy going? Who? Where? No one in this house! Certainly not our little K. And it is taking some time to get used to this new strong willed, defiant, wants his own way, contrary K. It's not the K we were used to! Oh, he definitely retains his innocent sweetness, but sometimes you have to search for it. I guess it's a part of growing up. And learning and maturing. He's entered a whole new world of more independence, less mommy time, mainstreaming in school and leaving alot of his special needs programs behind. I got a note home from his kindergarten teacher on Thursday that sent me on an emotional trip. "K got two yellow lights today" (Their system of discipline. 3 yellow lights gets you sent to the principals office) "He was disruptive in class, was giggling and being silly when it was time to work, and would not participate in required activities. Please talk to him about what is expected of him. He has demonstrated some of this behavior each day, but today really pushed it." Um, can you say freaking out? Cause that's what this mama did upon reading the note. Not MY child! Not my sweet little K!! - Oh wait, sweet was so last year. He may walk with a walker and think a bit out side of the box - but he is being held to the exact same standard as any other child in that class. And that is exactly what we want. So, he was spoken to, by mommy and daddy, and a few things were changed around here to tighten up some structure and discipline for the child who I never thought would need such a firm hand. The little preemie boy. The child who didn't even know how to throw a fit. The one some said would never understand or speak - well he is speaking his mind and showing his opinions. So, my kid is normal (relatively speaking of course). Why is it so hard for me to accept normal? Why must I put the expectation around myself, my husband, my boys to be better than every one else? Hello normal. Let's get to know each other. I know yellow lights in kindergarten are only the very tip of the iceberg. And Mommy is getting a dose of reality.