Thursday, May 14, 2009

 What I want him to remember

Dear K, Someday you and I will sit down together and look back into the archives of my blog and I will read this to you. Or, knowing you, you will want to read it to me. I want to record this because I want you to know the way that God used you. Even when you were very young. Yesterday I sat in a room with 15 people and we planned out your upcoming year of kindergarten. Some of the individuals in that room were those who have worked with you through out this year of preschool. Some were those who have assisted us behind the scenes. Still others have yet to meet you, but will be working with you on a daily basis this fall. They are in for a treat! As I looked around that room I was struck with how one small boy can impact a whole lot of people. Your daddy shared your story with those who did not know you. To them you were just another boy coming into their class room. They didn't know how we prayed for each ounce you gained. They didn't know how every infection you picked up when you were in the NICU brought us down a very scary road. They had not experienced the fear and elation of your early days. They don't have to know all of it, but your daddy did a beautiful job of briefly sharing what a miracle you are. His eyes were full of deep emotion and he conveyed a clear sense of what a privilege it was that we were putting your education in their hands. They got it. The speech therapist who has worked with you each week this year began to read her report on your progress. She only got a few words out before being over come with emotion. Because your daddy had just shared the amazing fact that the portion of your brain most affected by the hemorrhage was in the area which interprets and expresses speech. Most of that portion of your brain is missing.Her report stated that you have achieved or exceeded all of the speech goals set for you and that at this time there is no longer a need for weekly speech services. Putting the beginning and the present together for these people left few with dry eyes. Of course there were also the emotions of those who have worked diligent with you through out the year and now have to say good bye. You brightened their world K. You showed them some new perspectives and you demonstrated some breathtaking possibilities. The director of your preschool was there along with your teacher and your aid. They were all special, but I know a particularly close bond was formed between you and your aid. She noted how different her days will be next year with out you in them. She saw you grow tremendously through out the year and she pushed you to new heights. Tomorrow you will join the other kids in your class for preschool graduation. We will drive to that wonderful caring preschool for the last time and watch you stand up front in your tasseled hat. I will thank all of the amazing people who have had a part in your school year for the past 8 months. And I will once again feel immeasurable gratitude for the honor it is to be a part of this story. I honestly feel like such a small part of it. Almost a bystander watching with awe as it all unfolds. Often people comment on what an amazing job we are doing. They ask how we do it. They affirm all of the work we must invest into you. K, what we tell them we want you to always know, that although we love you deeply and certainly make investments of that love, we can not take the credit for who you are and what you are becoming. The moment we would make it about us would be a moment our eyes would leave a very important focus. And K, at that moment we would fail you as parents. It's not about us. It is about a God who has had his hand on you since the day you were conceived. A God who was with us when we dedicated you to Him. A God who held us when we feared for your life. A God who never left our side through the grim predictions and low expectations from the doctors. He is, and has always been, your source of strength.

11 comments:

Rach@In His Hands said...

No dry eyes here, either.

What beautiful words for a beautiful boy. Without a doubt, K will know how much he is loved....by his parents and most importantly, his Lord.

Happy Graduation Day K!!!

Heather of the EO said...

What an amazing post! This will mean so much to K. He's a miracle that will continue to change lives.

And you and your hubby are amazing parents too.

Dawna said...

Your love for this amazing boy is fully evident and your words are eloquent, yet I have a small complaint. On days that I can't get away from my desk at lunchtime I often take a few minutes to visit my dear blogging friends so I can pretend that I've taken a break. My complaint? I can't visit your blog at work because you usually leave me with tears in my eyes, whether in sorrow for your trials or in joy for your triumphs and blessings. I wouldn't trade the privilege of peeking into your life for anything, but I thought I'd let you know what kind of impact you have on me. Love you, dear friend, and I am so very proud of that wonderful son of yours!

Arlona Mc said...

What does a grandma say about a grandson so precious and a God so awesome. I am so glad that God allowed me to be your grandma and that He kept you here with us. You are your own person, K and we love you very much. Our prayer is that you will continue to be used of God throught your life. He kept you on earth for a special purpose. Yea, God and Yea, Caleb. Looking forward to going to your graduation and celebrating with ice cream afterwards. Much love, Grandma Mc

Anthony's Mommy said...

I find it especially amazing that your husband made a point at how special K is to the people in the room. Sometimes I think my husbands forgot how special his little boy really is. He doesn't read blogs or message boards with other preemies born as young as our boys were, and I think a lot of the time he just thinks how well Anthony is doing is the norm. Its hard cause part of you wants to forget everything you went through yet for me I still want to hold on to some of it so I never forget how special our children really are!

Also I have a question. When did K really start to talk? LIke not just a word here or there? Anthony talks but it just isn't all the time. Or consistent.

Kim

Rachel @ Unexpected Blessings said...

What is there to say? I am crying again. Love all you guys so much. So thankful that K has touched my life.

dani said...

wendi, God is in every word you write. you are such a witness to the One who loved us that we know how to love... and you love just about a perfectly as anyone i know. k is so blessed to have you two as his parents, and you are soooooooo blessed to have been given such a miracle:)
much love,
dani xxxxx

Stacey said...

Beautifully written and heart felt! He'll treasure it.

Anthony's Mommy said...

Wendi - yep I have facebook. you can find me by looking up Kim Ruckman. Can't wait to chat with you!

xfrmdxrenewal said...

Hello Wendi,
My name is Jackie and we will be meeting in July of this year at the Ford Family reunion. My mom Mildred was your grandmother Marjorie's sister. If I had any doubts about going to the reunion they have been washed away with excitement and anticipation to meet you, your husband and your beautiful children.

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

Wendi...I am in awe of K, in awe of you and Dave, but mostly in awe of our God. Only Him...only Him.

My only regret about our upcoming meet-up is that I won't get to meet the rest of your boys. :) Oh, don't get me wrong, a girls day out sounds like HEAVEN to me, but one day I am going to meet the rest of your family, and give K and Jay and Noe a big ol' hug. Funny how you can love a couple of kids so much that you've never met. :)