Monday, April 27, 2009

 The boy who would not be labeled

Unique and defined. By his terms. No one else can figure out the definition. And behind that secretive smile, hides so much more than any one will ever know. Even his mama. He knows they try. He knows they test. He knows they strive to figure out a label. A course of action. A brand. They will not. He strings the beads backwards. He counts the toys in his own rhythm - leaving out numbers and skipping a few. And some how comes up with exactly the answer they were asking for. In a method they will never figure out. He won't show his work. It's all in his head. It's his power. His secret. They will not crack the code. He can not tell them what emotion the little girl is displaying in the picture. He shuts down. But he begins spelling his answers to the questions he knows. He doesn't miss even one letter. They are flabbergasted. They call me with the results. But stammer through parts. Because their livelihood depends on testing and resulting. And they can't result this kid. They throw around words like 'possible autism spectrum' -'yet lacking in so many of the definitive symptoms'. 'Possible behavior issues' 'Quirks' 'Quoting Little Einstein movies in mid conversation?' 'Lacking social skills' 'A security wash cloth?' 'That he calls his winder upper?' 'Pervasive development disorder' And yet they also take on a tone of awe as words come out such as 'Intellectually astounding' 'Phenomenal' 'Academically on track' And so they don't really know what to say. But eventually they do. 'Cause that is their job. Recommendations, books, web sites, specialists. More things to listen to, respect, pick through, and then it all comes down to... What is best for him? What does he really need? Dave laughs. He once again sees the child who is breathing On his own. The boy who has been granted to us as a gift. The boy who will not be figured out is fathered by the man that few could. The boy who doesn't care much to be like any one else has blood flowing through his veins of the man who mocks trends. They smile and wink at each other. And mama just shakes her head. Because she loves them both like crazy. But she may never have them completely figured out. Of course he would say the same about her. This fall there will be a whole new team of educators who will be confused and charmed by one small, yet very influential child. This is going to be fun.
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22 comments:

Little Candle said...

Wendy,
I love this post. Your sweet boy is astounding and just who God intended him to be.
Thanks for your sweet comments. And I agee completely! Chocolate is a must and I am far from ever giving that up! Plus, when you're pregnant, you get to play by a completely different set of rules...it's for the baby after all. ;) That's they best way to take care of yourself.
You look stunning by the way...
Hugs!

Anthony's Mommy said...

I just LOVE K! He gives me such hope at Anthony's future. In some ways what I just read already reminds me of him. Anthony understands every word we say, follows complex commands. Figures things out that I didn't believe a kid his age could do. But he still doesn't talk a lot. He still is a little stiff in his rib cage. But he's alive!!! His mind is intact! He walks, he runs, he loves people. Sometimes its so frustrating with therapists. Sometimes I think they focus on the 1 tiny thing the child is having an issue with an try to blow it out of proportion. We all have quirks. I think I probably have "signs" of autsim spectrum disorder or PDD. But yet I'm a well adjusted human being. As my psychologist friend of mine tells me. Autism is the "flavor of the month right now" and every ones got it! =-)

Kim

Katarina said...

I'm glad that K is K. I smiled as I read your post, I love how you put it into perspective.
Praying that K's fall is full of wonderful new adventures, where people will just let him be K, without the labels. That they will be able to find a way to work with him that helps, even if there is no *label* as a palce to start.
(besides, labels are for cookies and boxes!)

Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...

Ahhh, I love this. K, like his Heavenly Father, is not willing to fit inside a box of human making. He is who he is, God's fingerprints all over him.

Rachel said...

What an amazing little boy K is! I know God has such a wonderful plan for him and his life!

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

Yes! You go, K - you keep befuddling all those people that want to label you!

I love how you described Dave - the man who mocks trends. Good for him! :)

I don't know if I will ever get to meet K (although honestly, I wish I could just drive the 4 hours and sit at your table for a while, just chat with you and hug your little men), but when I see him in heaven he is getting the biggest hug ever from me.

Heather of the EO said...

I just plain love this. He's simply K, that's definition enough. Beautiful post, lady!

Angela said...

Labels are for cans...not people! I'm not sure who said that first, but know I am not witty enough to have thought it up on my own, so I am pretty sure I heard it somewhere...but isn't it so true! And this post is so special...it really moved me and I think you should submit it somewhere for publication.

Sara@i.Sass said...

He's just K. Not plain. not simple.
Simply K.
And we've all grown to see HIS work while K inspires us.
What a wonderful post.
My word verif:
coxbfack

The Bayou Belles and Their Beau said...

Great post! God has so much in store for him. Sweet boy.

Rachel @ Unexpected Blessings said...

He truly is a miracle boy! So glad to here of his progress.

Beautiful Post!

Melissa said...

I just love reading your blog...you have such a beautiful way of writing. K is definitely blessed to have you as his mommy.

Lisa said...

I am trying to decide who is more blessed - you or him....
He is lucky to have such a kind and loving mother
and I know he has changed your life and rocked your world along with so many others. He is amazing, truely a gift!!!

what is better then the mistery - keeps things exciting, huh...
love to you!

Rachel said...

Wendy, I just loved this post so much! What an amazing little man you have there.

By the way - the sale is on Sat. at our church - Cascades - which is on West Ave. near the Wendy's. Hope you can make it :)

Lindsay said...

Any and every educator that is blessed by him will be a better, wiser, more amazing teacher because of him!!

** does he want to come to Oregon when it's time for 2nd grade :)

dani said...

k is amazing, wendi, and very, very unique:) i love that he keeps the professionals on their proverbial toes:DDD
love,
dani xxxxx

Cottage Mommy said...

Wow, your boy sounds amazing and I love your perspective on it all! I imagine it would be easy to get overwhelmed but EVERY child is a gift and EVERY child has their little quirks and struggles anyway! So impressed with you and your heart!

sara said...

this post was wonderful!! you are such a good writer and we feel every word! I love what Heather said...he's simply K, that is enough!

Jamie said...

Loved this! What a great mom you are!

cgivans said...

I found your blog while musing through blogs...I really like your blog. It has so many pretty pictures...and this post about your son....oooohhh....I have a seven year old, who after years and years of trying to tell the doctors and psychologists that something is just different about him...that I have been around many other children, and have several others....I have never met a child like him, his faults and his uniqueness....I loved how you really reflected on the differences and remember that they are EXACTLY what makes him special and he is just the way that God intended him to be....Thank you so much for sharing and helping me to let go of all the craziness with the medical world and trying to find a "label" or diagnosis for him.....God bless you!!!

Heather said...

I just wanted to let you know that I've left you an award over at my blog. You can stop by http://heathershodgepodge.blogspot.com/2009/04/award.html to pick up your award, if you'd like.

Dawna said...

This is my new favorite post of yours. What an amazing boy. What an amazing family. What an amazing God!! I can't wait to read your book!