Tuesday, November 4, 2008

 The one where I get rather zealous about protecting marriage

I have such a burden on my heart for marriages. It hurts me to see something that God exquisitely designed, and has declared very good, being callously cheapened and carelessly thrown away. All marriage is sacred and beautiful, but when I see Christians treating their covenant before God with cold hearted selfishness it breaks my heart. Yes, there have been times I have broken my own heart. Alot of different marriages I have seen and heard about come to mind, but I am mostly speaking to myself. If I could look the evil that tries to break up Christian marriages in the eye and speak my mind I would say some thing like this: “Oh, I’m sorry, was that my marriage you were targeting, because you picked the wrong union to mess with. Oh, I have to give you credit for the momentary emotions which have, at different times, attached themselves to us ever so briefly. Fear Mistrust Hopelessness Questioning Defensiveness Selfishness Yes, you have accomplished these temporal and surface damages. Some you have even done quite well, for they have left a few scars. But excuse me if I don’t applaud your trophies. Your greatest accomplishments pale in comparison to even the weakest of victories our God has brought about in and through us. Your attacking us only solidifies in my mind that what we have is not only precious, but also very powerful, that we are a threat to all things evil and divisive, and that together Dave and I can accomplish so much more for the Kingdom of God than we could have alone. Of course it makes sense. Attack their weaknesses, separate, and destroy. From there you could eradicate a force that is overwhelmingly powerful. A bond that consists of not two but three; A man, a woman, and God. Yes, that’s right, I am not afraid to look evil in the eye and say that I serve Jesus Christ as my Savior and that He is the center of my marriage. Jesus Christ - that name which only paints a target on my back in more vivid colors. I don’t care. Those vows I made – they weren’t just to David (thank you very much to a dear friend for that timely reminder), they were in front of and spoken to God himself.” I, who am usually one of the most non-confrontational shrinking beings you could meet, have found that which brings out an aggressive strength which surprises even me. I first noticed it when I became a mother. I almost feared the drive I found within myself when any one dared to treat a child of mine with any thing less than care and concern. Shortly after becoming parents Dave and I noticed a certain intensification in what felt like attacks on our marriage. In experiencing these threats I noticed a fighting spirit which far outweighed the one I had previously known as it pertained to my children. I will always fight for what is best for my kids, but my marriage is of even higher priority and brings out a surpassing intensity of emotion. God’s plan is worth honoring. It is far more beautiful than any thing I have ever experienced. A man and a woman being better together than they were alone. A man and a woman experiencing a oneness as only otherwise known by The Creator and his creation. Working together to meet common goals. His design consists of stunning beauty. So, I would say to that evil, “Just leave us alone, you aren’t going to get any where with us. It’s not worth it. Our marriage is not up for negotiation.” But I know better than that. I know that by acknowledging the fact that we battle a supernatural force which tries to divide us, and by belligerently rebuking it, I am drawing a line in the sand and only inviting an escalation in attacks. So instead I will say, “Bring it on. We are armed and ready. Our marriage is not invincible, but it is fortified. We will not back down” Perhaps in the beginning of our marriage we were not prepared for the amount of work it would take to not only maintain our marriage, but nurture it to thrive into something beautiful and unique. Well, we are getting it now. We are willing and enabled to fight for every thing good that God has planned for us. Who wants average when there is so much more to be had? “Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy, It does not boast, It is not proud, It is not rude, It is not self seeking, It is not easily angered, It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, But rejoices with the truth. It always protects, Always trusts, Always hopes, Always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

19 comments:

photomama said...

I love the passion in this post. I also find it so ironic that I have come across the love chapter in like 3 different instances (including in a childrens book at the library) the last few days and the election today is so important in protecting the union that God has defined as marriage.

Sara@ Butterville said...

Awesome post Wendi. It made me sit up and listen. Think about where we are. (Hubby and I) Everytime I here of an unfortunate break-up I close my eyes and pray, "don't let that happen here." I ask Rob for assurance. The enemy does all he can to shake us to our core. Sometimes he gains ground, but everytime we find our armor and put it right back on. I love what you said about vows not being said just for Dave, but to and infront of God. Truly they were for us also. Great great post, dear one.

Anne Elizabeth said...

Excellent post!!! I know EXACTLY what you mean when you said you felt like there was an intensification of what felt like attacks on your marriage! I have felt the same thing. This pregnancy has been especially hard on my marriage and the attacks feel so much stronger. It has been really discouraging. Thanks for posting this!

Smilingsal said...

I love the love chapter. I used to read it to my high school students in the Good News version when I taught public school. (In 12th grade, the King James Bible is included in the Florida state-adopted textbook.)

Rachel said...

You just gave me goose bumps. You are so right - we cannot become complacent in our marriages. I have been thinking about this so much lately and thanking God for His goodness and wisdom in joining one man and one woman in this way. I don't always feel that way... :) But I know what a blessing marriage is and I want to fight for our marriage and to not just settle, you know? I am going to read your post again now :)

Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...

"Your greatest accomplishments pale in comparison to even the weakest of victories our God has brought about in and through us"

Amen Amen Amen :)

creative gal said...

I love this post!! It is so so so true!! One thing I learned with my past relationship- when the going got tough (I had two broken feet at the same time), he left. My devotional this morning really spoke to me about this. I do not want average!! Kind of cool how God used your post and my AM devotional to remind me of HIS faithfulness in these situations. I love it when "things" tie in together. God is always at work.

Sarah M. said...

Thanks for fighting! It's so worth it! I just found out tonight that a couple we were praying could come to the FTL Weekend to Remember, but has since divorced, is now comitted to come! Yeah God! One down, one more "mountain" to pray into coming!

Amanda said...

wendi...wonderful. definitely an area we need to fight for...i think that was a huge reminder at the weekend to remember for me...the reality that marriage is being attacked...big time! AND the Satan would like nothing more than to take my marriage down...to embitter mike and i and set us against one another. so AMEN!

Tonya said...

what a great post and beautiful reminder of what marriage is all about and that Christ should always be center. I have felt those attacks on my marriage as well.

Cindy said...

This is a beautiful post, Wendi.

I pray that young couples would come to marriage with the passion and fight to keep it alive.

I think covenant marriages have that extra it takes to stick together through ever attack.

I will be praying for your family.

Rachel said...

SO true! What an awesome post! Thank you for writing this!

Kari Dawson said...

You go girl! I've kept up with the event "the call" that occured in California last week. I imagine from your post that perhaps you caught wind of it as well, maybe. The core of who our children will become is based first on our own personal relationships with Jesus, the example we set and how we direct them, and secondly on the core of our marriage. Our marriage is the only living example our children have for how to model themselves as christians, spouses, and parents in thier futures. The hope of thier generation rests on the sanctity of marriage that is trying to be ripped away from us.

Noah and Ryders Mommy said...

What a great reminder to treat marriage with such delicatesy. Marriage is definitely not easy, but so worth it when the Lord is the center and in control.
I'm so glad your marriage where's this armor, for the Lord's armor conquors ALL evil.

thanks for the great share Wendi!

Trying to Stay Calm! said...

Love this post! Thanks for sharing :)

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

You are amazing, my friend. And you have stirred me up - I know our enemy would love to destroy us even when it looks like everything in our marriage is just fine. I thank God for a strong and faithful man, one that is willing to work things out and pray with me.

Rach@In His Hands said...

"God's plan is worth honoring" ~ So very true! I am blessed with a husband who couldn't agree more.
Thanks for sharing this today.

~ Straight Shooter ~ said...

Absolutely! Amen.
I loved the passion.
You did a fabulous job on this post!!
Keep up the fight for what God meant as a sacred covenant.

Little Candle said...

Wow! This is what I needed to read! Lately I have been feeling like my marriage has been under attack and thoughts have entered my brain that I would normally never be a party to. Yet, they repeat and dwell there. Questions, doubts, fears...all whispered. But, until I read your post, I hadn't really thought about what might be going on. I need to better guard my heart and my mind against these thoughts and be more prayerful about my marriage. Thank you for sharing the love chapter at the end. It reaffirmed to me the worth of my marriage and how much I love my Husband. Sometimes in the day to day, I don't consciencely remember the beautiful thing that David and I are building together.