{June} 10 on the 10th

I almost didn't do it this month. I mean, coffee and flowers and food and my kids (a million of Kai, because he's my hang out buddy during the school year) - a selfie or two. ;)

Kind of redundant after a while, right?

But I haven't been using this little space much lately, and my heart still does want to overflow here.

Flowers and food and boys.

It may be repetitive, but it's my life. And my heart. Here they are. June 10 on 10.

Garage sale find. Had only been used a couple of times. Here-being used daily. yes please.

Fav color, fav flower. Blooming in my kitchen window.

Up for some breakfast and Lego play. Only one and a half more days of school. I can do it, I can do it, I can do it!!

Waiting for brother at a dentist apt. Being cute, per his usual. 

My peonies are in full bloom! Be still my heart. God's creativity fills me. 

Look. Kai. And Legos.

Some days, when hubby comes home with these, it's better than diamonds. ;) He knows. 

Us.

We love stuffed shells! 

Packed up and ready to go tomorrow. If you jumped into this photo, you would feel the excitement! 

My impulsive brain welcomes you

I'm thinking about bangs. Not little fringy wispy things, nope - I'm talkin' the real thing. I was probably 8 or 9 the last time I had thick, brow brimming bangs. I haven't convinced myself to go for it yet, but I'm close. Some women can pull off the thick bangs look in a stunning fashion. Some, not so much. Scary not to know where I will land here.

I have successfully posted a picture every single day on my photo blog since the second day of this new year. It has been challenging and very fun! I love forcing myself to see things from several different perspectives. This is helping me to accomplish that desire.

This little boy... oh my. What can I say - he slays me with one look. My heart is a mess. All melty and squishy when he smiles and jabbers. He is at a point where he most definitely requires discipline. I am at a point where I most definitely need to stand firm in the face of severe cuteness (yes, even when he is sternly angry  - gah! What's a mama to do???).

This strange thing is happening with his eyes. Do you remember when they were so stunningly clear blue? They appear to be turning into mine. Hazel. Kind of murky. Changes with moods. Interesting.

I overheard a conversation the other day between two women. One had worked subbing as K's aid in his classroom. "He's 8. Yeah, he knows classical songs by heart - and each composer!! It's crazy. He knows Mozart, and Tchaikovsky (yes, I just googled that to figure out how to spell it. Don't judge. K was occupied elsewhere and couldn't help me) - and he hums the melodies!"  - They think he is super smart. The truth? - He has seen one too many Little Einstein episodes. Ooops. What they don't know won't hurt them, eh?

I've never been on a missions trip. I can't get missions out of my mind. And you better believe I have tried! If you know me, you know that I will look for all of the possible justifications and ways out before I finally concede on something. Does this preoccupation with missions mean that we need to pack up and go overseas? Does it mean I need to increase my giving, more sacrificially? Perhaps that I should increase my awareness of the plight of those less fortunate than us? Focus on missions right here in my community?

Well, yes. And no. And all of the above. And I'm not really sure yet. I'm in that, "Okay God - you have my attention. What are you trying to say to me?" stage.

I am studying Proverbs 31 with my Mom2mom group at church. For the first time in my life I am understanding the depth of my responsibility, privilege, and calling in my home. This past week we investigated our own emotional stability (or lack of such...). *gulp* We looked at what God's word says about our ability to keep our emotions under control. We also tread on that thin ice of being stable despite our oh-so-precarious hormones. Oh yes, we did.

One of my favorite quotes from the study book we are using ("Beautiful in God's Eyes" by Elizabeth George) is this: "God's beautiful Proverbs 31 woman was the sparkling jewel in her husband's life. She brought the love, the color, the joy, the life, and the energy to the home... I am to light up the home with sparkle no matter how hard times are". 

Ladies, let's sparkle!! Doesn't that sound fun? Yes. but it is weighty too.

It is so on. I am doing this. I love that I get to bring the energy into my home. Positive or negative? My choice. Better make it a good one.

I'm bidding on a dress on eBay (trying to get a deal! It's part of being virtuous). It makes me catch my breath when I view it, and wait to see if I will win it. It's not like I go look at it several times a day or anything. La-ame! But it's silk, vintagey, and ivory with a thick black sash. It's feminine, soft looking, with some subtle ruffling, and pretty wow. Two days left.

I had a battle of wills party with my four year old yesterday morning. It was exhausting. His negotiating skills are crazy. He may have the advantage of cuteness. He may have the advantage of taking me by surprise. He may have the advantage of mini-lawyer syndrome. But guess what. I'm the mom. I will follow through. I will not back down. So try that on for size little mister "I object".

Why is Papa John's pizza so dang good? What do they put in the crust that makes me want to go back every day? Do I want to know? Is it legal? What's with that garlic butter goodness? Ugghh. Some body stop me.

What's for dinner at our house...

~Sunday~

Slow cooker pork roast with barbecue sauce.

Buns

Steamed fresh zucchini, squash, and carrots

Fresh corn on the cob

~Monday~

Stuffed shells

Garlic bread

Tossed salad

~Tuesday~

Chicken enchiladas

Tortilla chips

Cottage cheese

Green beans

~Wednesday~

Leftovers

~Thursday~

{Breakfast for supper}

French toast with blueberries

Hash browns

Scrambled eggs with cheese

~Friday~

{Camping}

Camp fire roasted hot dogs

Baked beans

Chips with dip

Apple slices

S'mores (of course)

~Saturday~

Potluck

{Family reunion at the beach}

What's for dinner at your house this week?? I love getting new ideas!

A few profound realizations

1) God has put some incredibly special people in my life

Kim, Ruth, Amy

Lynne 2) The encouragement of friends is an amazing and priceless blessing. A blessing that I need and cherish. Becky

3) I am extraordinarily white

Sara, Becky, Me, Michelle, Karen

4) My obsessive type love for cheesecake, and resulting consumption, tends to induce a compulsion to do crunches on the spot

Michelle and I

You all must be so glad you stopped over here today. Good quality reading coming your way from my little corner of the internet!

So, maybe profound turned to mindless insignificant around #3, but perhaps in my world skin tone and cheesecake are some what profound (and maybe - just maybe, I am a touch too excited that I learned how to do the oh-so-fun strike through a word trick and will make up sentences and excuses to do so...).

Um...You will come back won't you?

They can't get enough

Of this stuff:

And I think they are really going to enjoy Thanksgiving too.

We were having supper Saturday night and Noe was babbling, as usual. Some of his words were understandable, some were unique Noe language. All of the sudden - out of the blue - he says "green bean casserole", clear as ever. What not-quite-two-year-old is actually that into green bean casserole?? Apparently this one. :)

Along those same lines, I was over at the yellow house last week and I had brought a tasty pumpkin cheese cake creation. Noe was, again, babbling to all the cute little boys at the table. Kristy and I were sitting there enjoying our pie and all of the sudden Noe realizes this. He abandoned his peanut butter and jelly and says "PUMPKIN PIE" plainly as ever.

This kid has always been like that. He started talking around 11 months and none of it was intelligible except those words which pertained to food. You'd hear this "mmm, bah moo uhnn CRACKER". He can talk quite well now, but his most clear words are still food related. :)

I only take the ones that have the intoxicating mixture of peanut butter and chocolate - and a few others

Oh come on! I'm not the only one who does it.

Am I?

All the right ingredients...

...for a fantastic fourth of July weekend. It was so fun to experience those summery delights; being outdoors, enjoying the family, and temporarily leaving some of the daily responsibilities. Those responsibilities will be there waiting tomorrow, I'm sure of it.

I love summer time. I love the fourth of July holiday. This year we did all the special things which make it really fun and memorable for me. I'm kind of a traditional type of gal. I love to have certain things we remember holidays by and look forward to. Do you want to see some of it? Okay, for the yes people, here you go. For the no people, there's a little x at the top right of your screen that you can click on.

A third of July picnic started out our fun. Lots of great food and hours of laid back fun with friends. We enjoyed visiting Dave's mom's church and joining old friends. It was the church Dave attended for about 28 years and it was our first church to attend together as a married couple. Although God has lead us somewhere else to minister and grow at this time, we will always consider this church family. I love these friends! We all had our matching glow sticks. It was just like a jr. high girls club. :) Yeah, I'm the shorty on the end.

After our picnicking and outdoor gaming, we watched a great fire works display. I loved the little "ooohhh"s that Noe expressed after each flash. During any pauses between fireworks he would sign 'more' and say 'Ta-da'. He was asking for 'more ta-da's' because here at home he says 'ta-da' whenever we turn a light on (something I think he picked up from older brothers). It was so cute to watch his amusement.

Then there was the amazing air force Thunderbirds air show on the 4th. So much fun to watch! All of my boys were quite enthralled. I loved how the air show was choreographed to music. It was really incredible!

And then of course there was the crazy insane guys doing the crazy insane stunts on their motorcycles. I had one word for the crazy adorable three year old with the widest of eyes. "NO!" It was, however, super heartwarming to watch K enjoy the stunt show. He saw it. A simple thing? Maybe to some. For me it was enough to make my whole weekend great with nothing else added. We were able to pick up his glasses with the new lens prescription a couple of weeks ago and although the change wasn't immediate and drastic, we can now see some really positive vision improvements for him. Let me tell you, as a mommy this is a special thing to observe!

It wouldn't be fourth of July festivities with out the compulsory elephant ear. I hesitated to share this part of my joy. Between the indulgences of Krispy Kreme, Reese's peanut butter cups, and York peppermint patties, which I have so openly shared with you all in the last couple of weeks, I am afraid I will gain quite the unhealthy and self indulgent reputation. I admit, I may not be the healthiest eater you've ever met, but these wonderful morsels are not my daily norm either. :) And in the above picture I am handing a piece to Jay. See, it wasn't all for me and I wasn't the only one who thoroughly enjoyed... :) Check out little K getting some fried pleasure covered in Cinnamon and sugar. Of course Dave was kind enough to take this shot, declaring that it was 'for the blog'. :) Thanks honey. I'm now going on a veggies and water fast. :) We saw the beautiful sight of a sky full of hot air balloons before we left the festivities with 3 tired little guys (not to mention the exhaustion of the mommy and daddy). After arriving home I tucked my sleepy baby into his crib and returned outdoors to watch the delight of a daddy, 3, and 5 year old watching our own little fireworks display. All very small and legal I assure you. :) The squeals of delight were so fun to hear. K and Jay had fun too.

So there you have it - a peak into our family's weekend festivities. Dave and I talked last night about how grateful we are to those who have made it possible for us to have the freedoms we daily enjoy. I got a little bit emotional as we reflected on those men and women who give of themselves for the protection and freedom of this country. It is indeed something to celebrate, as well as fall to our knees about.

I am doing really good. I feel so much joy returning to my life. As I reflect over the challenges of the past couple of weeks I see so much evidence of God's sustaining grip. So many people who encouraged me through our time of loss implored me not to expect to feel joy filled and overly positive while in the midst of the pain. They assured me that when I looked back I would see the faithfulness of God and that His hand would be so evident in retrospect. They were right. I went through a time about a week ago where I was so frustrated with myself; the tears, the faltering faith. I'm ever so thankful for the people in my life who came along side me and simply said, it's okay to feel sad. Don't push yourself to be at place your just not.

Now my smile is returning. And it is real.

The blessings of today

• Healing - in so many ways
• Had an amazing night of 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep last night
• Was treated sweetly and sensitively by medical staff today
• Had the best pot roast ever for supper tonight thanks to Rachel. She brought it over in a crock pot with potatoes and carrots this morning and it cooked all day. Is your mouth watering yet? Okay, so it would've been good in it's own right any way, but it may have had extra appeal to me since I hadn't had any thing to eat for about 20 hours before indulging in the tender, juicy, amazing pot roast... What a friend Rach!! :)
• Speaking of amazing, generous people and comfort food - my mother in law has been really super through this whole thing. She has made herself available any time we have needed her. She watched the kids for us while we were at the hospital today. They love spending time with her, I'm always very comfortable when I know she is here with them, AND she presented me with a bag of york peppermint patties and Reese's peanut butter cups before she left. Do y'all wish she was your mother in law?? Well she's mine, and I'm keeping her. :)

• I have been very calm and peaceful all day. A little anxiety hit right before surgery, but for the most part I was really relaxed. In fact - my blood pressure and pulse showed the mellow mood and the doctors were a little baffled. :)
• I am tired, but feeling so much better than I expected. A touch uncomfortable, but really quite good.
• Dave has been beyond helpful in practical and sweet ways. :) The practical being all of the help around the house, meeting the needs of three very energetic boys (giving them all haircuts, baths, meals, and more), Being there for me at the hospital, and picking up my drugs (yay for drugs. Hmmm maybe that's why I'm feeling so good ;). The sweet being the kisses, the prayers, the times of conversation when I needed it and quiet when that was desired. The laughs which some may not understand, but meant so much to me. We have held on to our humor through so many dark times and it has drawn us together. My husband's kindness means the world to me
• God is so good!!

My husband - my hero

So, maybe we both know that in the long run this will do nothing to actually help the situation we find ourselves in. Perhaps it will even make parts of what makes this difficult even worse (the belly...), but for the time being, wow it really helps. :) Krispy Kreme to the rescue. Sounds good to me.

Last night when you ran in to the store for a dozen eggs you came out with these as well. Since you have been beyond dedicated on your diet and you know these are my favorite, I recognized this for the sweet gesture it was. :) If you weren't already my all time hero, this would've sealed the deal.

Parting...such sweet sorrow

~Carbs~

You've beckoned me in the chewy bliss that is a bagel. I've given in to your smooth charms as you've presented yourself in the form of pasta. Now I must bid you a fond farewell.

It is for my janitor...and don't think for a minute that it is because he doesn't like you. Quite the contrary. Just between us, without you he can even be the teeniest bit grumpy. Being the all or nothing guy that he is, he sees fit to shun you now. You and he have parted ways before and he has seen quick and positive results. I will not shun you completely and the little people in the house will still have their fill of your ample offerings. I must support him and place you out of his sight. You would only pull at the strings of compromise for him. Your new position will be in a hidden corner of the cupboard. You will now take a back shelf to protein. We do not love protein the way we love you, but it is best for every one this way.

I enjoyed creating you almost as much as I loved consuming you. The house will seem silent with out the musical whir of the Kitchen Aid. I must refrain from distributing your tantalizing aromas through out our house.

Maybe I will learn to love meat and salad the way I have always loved you. I'm sure...it will be fine. Just fine. A hamburger can resemble a chocolate cookie...if you squint. And a bowl of shredded lettuce may appear a bit like pasta. Kind of. I will be fine. It's all good...